How to Effectively Break Bad Habits

Robert Chen — Tue, 08 May 2012 11:00:22 +0000

Being late.

Smoking.

Procrastinating.

We all have bad habits that we want to change. What's frustrating is that we recognize that it's bad for us and clearly see the negative consequences and yet we're powerless to stop it. We see examples of this all around us and it's not wonder why so many people give up trying to break their bad habits.

This article will provide you an important insight for conquering your bad habits. Before I tell you what it is, I need to disclose some good news and bad news:

The good news is that you'll find out what you've been missing to help you break your bad habits.

The bad news is that when you apply this method to break your bad habits, you won't have any more excuses for living a mediocre life. You'll have to live your life to the fullest.

If you're okay with that, read on.

Before we start, what is the bad habit that you want to break?

Keep that habit in mind while you are reading the rest of the article. Don't move on until you've chose a bad habit. I will use procrastination as an example.

The usual approach for breaking a bad habit is to apply brute force. We use discipline and willpower as our tools to fight temptation. We tell ourselves that it will be different this time around. This method usually works the first few times but unfortunately it doesn't last. If it did, you wouldn't be reading this article.

So what is the missing piece?

When dealing with bad habits, you need to recognize that ...

Everything you do has a POSITIVE intention.

That's it. It's about having compassion for yourself. Instead of beating yourself up for being unable to break the "undesired" habit, you need to understad that the "undesired" habit actually helps you in some way.

So think about your bad habit. What is the positive intention of your bad habit?

For procrastination, one positive intention is to prevent failure because if you don't start, you can't fail.

Once you've recognized the positive intention, it's time to get creative and think about alternatives to achieve the same positive intention. In the procrastination example, an alternative strategy to prevent failure besides procrastinating is to break down the activity into smaller more easily achievable pieces.

Now you know the positive intention for your bad habit, take a few minutes to find at least 3 alternative behaviors that meet the positive intention of your bad habit.

Once you have your alternatives, choose one and make sure it is something that you can do without any negative side effects. As long as the alternative behavior satisfies the positive intention, then you won't need to use your previous bad habit to achieve the positive intention. This makes the habit easier to break. The key is to correctly assess the positive intention and finding a better habit to fulfill that intention.

If you haven't used this method, try it and let me know how it goes. Feel free to share your methods for getting over bad habits in the comments section below.

As a bonus, for those of you who are always late, check out how to always be on time.

Photo by wlodi

The post How to Effectively Break Bad Habits appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

How to Always Be On Time

Robert Chen — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 06:25:23 +0000

What time are we meeting them? 3:00pm?

Ok, it takes about 40 minutes by train and 10 minutes walking so let's leave by 2:10pm.

Train Announcement: There is a sick passenger on the train. We will be delayed momentarily. Thank you.

Needless to say, we were late for that meeting.

For the longest time, I was known for being late. I knew it was important to be on time but I always felt strange arriving too early. It wasn't fun waiting for other people. Also, I thought important people didn't wait for others, they had people waiting for them. It was this type of unclear thinking that justified my frequent tardiness.

The main reason I was ok with being late was because it never seemed like it was a big deal. I wasn't hurting anyone but myself and I would be the only one missing out when I was late. I was also very good at making up plausible excuses so there weren't any serious consequences. This created a habit of lateness.

Fortunately, 4 years ago I was able to break this habit. I didn't think it was possible but when someone impressed upon me that being late shows that you don't respect your own time and the time of others, it really hit a nerve. I changed my perspective and that allowed me to change my behavior.

I wouldn't be doing the title of this article justice if I ended the post here. So without further ado, the secret of being always on time is ...

... arriving 30 min to an hour early.

That's the technical part.

The hard part is accepting and applying this "secret" in your life. If you've read this far, I am assuming that you are interested in always being on time.

If that is so, read on and do for yourself the exercises that follow.

Before you can be on time all the time, you need to answer these four questions.

What are the benefits of being on time?

What are the benefits of being late?

What are the consequences of being on time?

What are the consequences of being late?

To help you out, here are some sample answers for each of these questions:

Benefits of Being on Time

You don't miss anything important and can remain composed and relaxed knowing that you are on time. You can also save energy from having to make up excuses.

Consequences of Being Late

Your reputation will be synonymous with someone who doesn't respect other people's time and can't meet commitments. Being late shows that you can't manage your time. If it is important, you'll be rushing and end up being flustered and stressed. All of these reasons have serious consequences for your professional career and or your business.

Benefits of Being Late

It is cool to be late. You can get more done by finishing one last thing. In some instances, you can still fall back on being "fashionably late". You don't need to waste time leaving too early.

Consequences of Being on Time

You have to wait if anyone else is late. There is nothing to do if you are too early. You'll be pegged as being too eager.

Once you've answered those questions, to always be on time, you need to:

1. focus on and strengthen the benefits of being on time and the consequences of being late and

2. address and reduce the benefits of being late and the consequences of being on time.

For example: Imagine the business you are not getting every time you show up late or the number of colleagues that have to wait for you before starting the meeting (strengthening consequence of being late). Reduce the anxiety of waiting when you are early by bringing a book or iPad to catch up on some reading (reducing the consequence of being early).

This method has worked wonders for me and I can see the respect people give me when they know that I am always on time.

Remember the only way to always be on time is to almost always be early.