Risk is typically perceived as a fear that requires a certain courageous personality to overcome. We are often categorized by ourselves or others as being risk-averse or risk-seeking and lead our lives accordingly. The risk-averse person seems destined to lead a stable but perhaps unextraordinary life while those who are risk-seeking will either crash and burn or be wildly successful.

Unfortunately, many people live according to their own risk profile, not realizing that they may be missing out on wonderful opportunities. By not knowing how to take smarter risks, you're likely limiting your potential. But how do you take risks in a way that doesn't make it feel like you're gambling with your life?

First, recognize that everything you do has risk - from crossing the street to texting to putting on pants (one of my toddlers suffered a torque fracture when he fell putting on his pants - *sigh*). We label something as "risky" when it is above our personal risk threshold. If the activity falls below this threshold, we see it as normal. Much of the advice we've heard centers around bypassing your threshold, which is a dangerous thing to do. "Just do it" may sometimes work out but can also be catastrophic especially if the risk is high.

To help bring to life the tips you're about to learn, imagine you are standing at the edge of a steep canyon and leaping across to the other side is the risk you would like to take.

Depending on your fear of heights, your experience with leaping across canyons, and other relevant factors, you have a personal threshold for how risky you think this leap will be. You can increase this personal threshold if you have a compelling reason for why you want to get across to the other side. For example, if it was just part of your vacation hike, your risk threshold might be much lower than if you were being chased by a bear. In many cases, the risk threshold you have is dependent on factors outside of your control such as the specific situation, your personality, other people's actions, etc.

To be a smarter risk taker, consider these 3 practical actions to reduce the risk of the task at hand to below your risk threshold:

De-Risk the Actual Task

Whenever you can, look to remove risks to achieving your outcome. If your goal is to get across to the other side of the canyon, you will want to walk along the edges of the canyon and find the area where the edges are closest together. You may also consider the possibility of building a bridge as opposed to jumping over. The idea is to find different ways to remove the risk you're seeing.

For a work-related example, if you're about to give a presentation at a high-profile conference, can you control where you are on the agenda so you're not following the best speaker or going right after lunch? Can you make sure you get in a day or two before your presentation so you won't be stressed with travel issues? Perhaps you can get an attendee list so you're not surprised by any unexpected senior leaders walking into your presentation and potentially rattling you.

De-risking is usually the most intuitive of the three tips so hopefully, many of you are already doing this.

Build a Safety Net or Buffer

In the canyon leaping example, the leap will seem less risky to you if there is a safety net below you.

To build your buffer, first identify what's at risk. What are you actually going to lose if this doesn't pan out? In many cases, you may realize that there isn't really much at stake.

For example, if you’re looking to join a startup after a 15-year career at a Fortune 50 company, what will you lose if the startup fails? Perhaps you might lose financially and have to worry about paying your bills and supporting your family. Maybe it will hurt your professional trajectory causing you to fall behind your peer group. Maybe your ego will take a beating when everyone judges your decision as stupid and reminding you of their advice not to leave your job.

Once you understand what is at risk the next step is to figure out how to protect against the downside of that risk.

Using the same example, if you’re worried about your ability to pay your bills and take care of your family, create a plan to save more and reduce living expenses so you can go for 2+ years without income. If you don’t want to lower your professional trajectory, assess how this startup experience can boost your trajectory even if the startup fails. Perhaps you can build a wider professional network or gain skills that you could not get at your current job. Another way to build a safety net is to either persuade your current company to buy the startup or start a similar division within your company. Lastly, as for your ego getting hurt, you might want to invest in other areas of your life so it won't be the end of the world if work doesn't go well. Being a part of an accomplished sports team or music group or coming home to a fantastic family can help you be more resilient. If you're afraid of your ego getting bruised, keeping your venture a secret from others can also help.

Increase Your Competence

If leaping is what you need to do to get across the canyon, the more skill and training you have, the less risky the task will seem. When you build up experience and expertise in the exact task needed, it won't seem as risky to you as someone looking at the situation without your expertise. A great visual example is the tight rope photo for this article. For an experienced tight rope walker, the activity depicted may seem less risky than to our untrained eye.

In a professional context, if you're thinking of taking a role in a different country, it's hard to not see it as risky if you haven't done it before. If this is a goal of yours, you may be able to reduce your risk by taking on a three-month international project or to work on a cross-border team. These experiences will help you understand the nuances of working effectively across cultures. You may also want to speak with others who have made this leap to get a road map for making the transition. Sometimes having a guide is enough to reduce the risk to below your threshold (for example - climbing Mount Everest).

Taking smarter risks is not about mustering the courage to "just do it". It’s about actively managing your relationship to risk. You can de-risk the situation, create a buffer to limit your downside, or train to increase your competence.

You can apply these risk mitigation tips to all areas of your life - career, relationships, sports, academic research, etc. It's generally agreed that more risk leads to more reward. By using these tips to take risks comfortably, we hope it will lead to a more rewarding life for you.

What's a risk you want to take but is right now above your threshold? Which one of these tips can you use today to bring you closer to taking a smart risk and live a life without regrets?

Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren)

The post 3 Ways to be a Smarter Risk Taker appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

...or at least as long it takes for you to read this article.

Anyway, let's not waste anymore time, we're on a tight schedule.

You're reading this article because there are times when you feel powerless. Maybe you feel powerless right now.

There are many possible reasons - you work for a boss that you hate but you just can't quit, you want to start a business but you just can't think of a great idea, you want to get married but you just can't seem to get a date, etc.

Powerless people have one thing in common - they love to use the word "can't". They've used it so often that they don't even notice it anymore but "can't" is a dangerous word.

When "can't" is used, all progress and creativity stops. You are declaring that there is no other solution and that's the way it's going to be.

What's interesting about "can't" is that it doesn't really mean anything on its own. It's merely a shortcut for three possible meanings:

I Don't Want to ...

"I can't go to the concert tonight." = "I don't want to go to the concert tonight, I would rather stay home and relax."

 

I Don't Know How ...

"I can't speak Russian." = "I don't know how to speak Russian."

 

I Don't Believe I Can ...

"I can't lose weight." = "Even though I know the method for losing weight and I want to lose it, I don't believe I can lose weight."

Before you read on, test this out. Think of a time when you used "can't" and see if it fits one of those three meanings.

Surprised?

I definitely was. I still remember how excited I was when I tested out the different times I used "can't" and realized it really did fit one of the three meanings.

From that point on, I became aware of my usage of "can't" and began replacing it with the real meaning. I use to think "I can't build my own website. I don't know anything about html or programming." but when I realized what I really meant was "I don't know how to build a website.", it made it clear why I wasn't where I want to be and that I can do something about it. I truly felt empowered. My website and blog are the results of this empowerment.

If you're not where you want to be, ask yourself why not? If your answer contains "can't", is it because you don't want to, you don't know how to or you don't believe you can.

If you don't want to, then that's fine because that's your choice.

If you don't know how, you can choose to learn.

The easiest one of the three to overcome is if you don't believe you can because all you have to do is change your belief which takes about one second and can be done without getting up from your chair.

There you have it with some time to spare. Remove "can't" from your vocabulary today and get ready to make some real progress in your goals and in your life by turning your dreams into possibilities.

Remember: There is really no such thing as "can't".

The post How to Empower Yourself Forever in 5 Minutes … appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

Self esteem

The first step towards high self-esteem is knowing where your current level of self esteem is. Most people don't know and it can't be measured just by looking at a person. So how do you gauge where you are at?

For the most part, if you truly believe you can do anything you want and you don't let criticism or other people's opinions bother you, I would say you have a high level of self esteem. If you still get shaken when other people criticize you, click here to learn how you can stay calm in the face of criticism.

I never thought of myself as having low self esteem but from my research and experience, I've come to recognize that there are times when I show warning signs of low self esteem. Before I tell you what you can do when you see these warning signs, let me share with you the 7 warning signs of low self esteem:

Can't Handle Praise

People who have low self esteem are uncomfortable and have trouble accepting praise. They usually deflect it or put themselves down. Being Chinese, I can understand that some of this may be cultural but when you make it awkward for someone to praise you, they are going to stop praising you. The easiest way to graciously accept praise is by saying "Thank you".

Condescending and/or Puts People Down

I used to trash talk a lot when I play basketball. Although most of it is fun and games, a part of it was making myself look good by making others look bad. The same applies for a belligerent boss or a rude customer. Anytime someone looks down on or tries to put down another person (even if they are just "joking"), they are revealing their own insecurities. People with high self esteem respect everyone no matter their background, situation or condition. They tend to make fun of themselves as opposed to other people.

Controlling vs. Empowering

When you try to control someone instead of empowering them, it shows that you feel threatened. Jealous partners who are manipulative and don't allow their significant others to talk to the opposite sex or to go out and enjoy themselves act this way due to low self esteem. It stems from the fear of losing that person because they don't feel they are good enough. Those with high self esteem are always looking to give power to other people knowing that they themselves are in full control of their own life.

Can't Say "No"

I had a big problem with this one. I found it hard to say no when someone would ask me to do something, go somewhere or join some team. It would be ok if it was something I enjoyed doing, but sometimes I would agree to things that I knew I wouldn't enjoy. I believe some of it comes from being nice and wanting to be helpful but a big part of it comes from wanting to please people. I wanted people to like me because I was basing my self-worth on what others thought about me and this is a sure sign of low self esteem. If you want to build your self esteem, learn to say "no" when you really want to say "no".

Being Indecisive

When you can't decide, there are usually a few reasons: You don't want to take responsibility for making the wrong decision, you believe that what you want is not as important as what someone else wants and/or you really don't know what to do. Apart from not knowing what to do, the other reasons are warning signs of low self esteem. Anytime you feel that you are not as important as someone else or you don't deserve something, you are lowering your esteem. People with high self esteem are decisive because they understand that their opinion is worth just as much as anyone else's even if they are with high-profile people like the President of the United States.

Blames Others

The inability to accept responsibility is a telltale sign of low self-esteem. This shows up when someone is indecisive and when they blame other people. People blame others because they believe what you do is who you are which means when you make a mistake, you somehow diminish yourself. They don't realize by blaming others, they have made themselves powerless by becoming a victim of circumstance.

How many times have you heard or maybe even said:

"I was late because of stupid train delays.",

"I didn't get promoted because I don't schmooze with my managers." or

"I can't find a job because of the economy."

Although these may be valid reasons, people with strong self-esteem do not focus on the external factor that may have caused the undesired result but rather spend their energy thinking of ways to achieve the outcome that they want. They don't put themselves down for making a mistake, they just learn from the experience and move on.

Overly Apologetic

How do you tell if a presenter/speaker is not confident?

The first words they say is "I'm sorry." even though they haven't done anything to be sorry for. They are apologizing for being there because perhaps they believe someone better should be in their place. If you ever catch yourself apologizing for no good reason, be aware that something or someone is causing you to lower your self-esteem.

Apologies are important but should be reserved for the occasions when you make a mistake. In all other cases, don't apologize.

So what do you do if you are showing warning signs of low self esteem?

Recognize that:

Self esteem is just a belief. It takes as much effort to believe you have low self esteem as it does to believe you have high self esteem. All you need to do when experiencing low self esteem is to change your belief about yourself. Remember that no one can give or take away your self esteem.

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself."  -Thich Nhat Hanh

How do you spot low self esteem?

The post The 7 Warning Signs of Low Self Esteem appeared first on Embrace Possibility.