1. Your Starting Point Matters — But What You Do Next Matters More

Buffett begins with something we often forget: luck.

He’s candid about his advantaged upbringing and grateful for the environment that allowed him to thrive. But he didn’t coast. He used what he had — opportunities, relationships, teachers, mentors — and worked consistently over decades. Even at 95, he still goes into the office five days a week.

Take a moment and acknowledge the advantages and outside influences that helped you get here. Then remember: disadvantages don’t have to stop you. Progress comes from what you do with what you have.

Buffett puts it well:

“You will never be perfect, but you can always be better.”

Life won’t be fair, but it will teach you.

2. "Get the Right Heroes and Copy Them"

Buffett frequently mentioned the people who have shaped him — Charlie Munger, Don Keough, Tom Murphy, Stan Lipsey, and others.

Not one of them is known for flashiness or fame. They’re known for character, a quality that Buffett values.

Try this right now:

Write down three people you admire and the quality you admire most about each.
Then ask: How can I practice one of these qualities this week?

3. Don’t Let Past Mistakes Define You

Buffett opens his final thoughts with a reminder we all need:

“Don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes – learn at least a little from them and move on.” 

Any time you mess up, take these two essential steps:

• Learn from it
• Move on

The key is remembering to do both quickly.

4. Know What You Want Your Obituary to Say

Buffett tells the story of Alfred Nobel accidentally reading his own obituary — and being horrified by what it said. That moment pushed him to reshape his life’s direction.

His challenge to us:

“Decide what you would like your obituary to say and live the life to deserve it.” 

A few questions worth sitting with:

• What would I want my obituary to say?

• Who would I want delivering my eulogy — and what would I want them to say?

• Are my daily actions moving me toward that version of myself?

If not, today is a good day to realign.

5. Be Kind and Compassionate (Especially When It’s Inconvenient)

Buffett reminds us that:

"Kindness is costless but also priceless."

It’s easy to be kind to people we like or people we care about impressing. But true compassion shows up when there’s nothing to gain.

A simple question to consider:

How can I be kind to someone I might normally overlook?

6. Buffett's Formula for Success

When Buffett looks back, the themes he highlights are surprisingly ordinary:

• Build long-term friendships.

• Work with people you admire and respect.

• Stay curious.

• Focus on substance, not image.

• Stick to your core competence.

• Help others quietly and consistently.

• Play the long game and let your efforts compound.

These elements are not sexy and won't go viral any time soon — but they work.

Final Takeaway: Life Is Long… Until It Isn’t

Buffett recognizes that:

“Father Time… is undefeated.”

We should too. Recognizing that truth isn’t depressing — it’s clarifying.
It reminds us to live the life we want now, not someday.

If you enjoyed these lessons, you might also appreciate this:

👉 30 Life Lessons from 1,000 People Who’ve Lived a Full Life

Wishing you a rewarding life!

The post Warren Buffett’s Final Letter: Lessons Learned from a Rewarding Life appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

“Now the tragedy of an attachment is that if its object is not attained it causes unhappiness. But if it is attained, it does not cause happiness—it merely causes a flash of pleasure followed by weariness; and it is always accompanied, of course, by the anxiety that you may lose the object of your attachment.”

This resonated deeply with me because I began to see how much of my own stress and anxiety stemmed from attachment—whether it was to outcomes, ideas, or relationships. I started to notice how fleeting the “flash of pleasure” is—whether it’s landing a publisher for my book or completing a marathon—and how it’s often followed by that nagging fear of loss or the need to hold onto what I’ve achieved.

As I’ve been working to become more aware of these attachments in my daily life, I’m still learning just how difficult it can be to truly let go. The idea of living more freely and without clinging to outcomes is something I’m actively practicing, and it’s definitely a work in progress. I’ve found that it’s not about detaching from life or giving up on goals, but about learning to engage with things more mindfully, without being so tightly bound to them.

In this article, I want to share some of the signs that are helping me recognize attachment in my own life—whether it’s through constant worry, the need for control, or over-reliance on external validation. I’ve also included some practical steps I’m experimenting with to help let go, so we can all work toward finding more peace, freedom, and contentment in our journeys.

Here are 18 signs of attachment, ways to recognize them, real-life examples, and practical tips to help you loosen the grip.

1. You Constantly Worry About the Future

How to Recognize: You find yourself stuck in 'what if' scenarios and struggle to stay present because you're always thinking about what's coming next. You're stressing about things that haven't happened yet.

Attachment: You're attached to controlling or predicting the future.

Example: Before a big meeting, you’re overwhelmed with anxiety about how it will go, replaying possible outcomes in your head.

How to Let Go: Schedule “worry time” for 10 minutes, where you allow yourself to think about the future. Once time's up, bring your attention back to the present by focusing on your breathing or surroundings.

2. Change Makes You Uncomfortable

How to Recognize: You feel uneasy or anxious whenever something shifts in your routine, even if it's a small change. You display strong emotional responses when things don't stay the same and have difficulty accepting that things change, whether it's aging, relationships, or life circumstances.

Attachment: You're clinging to stability and fear the unknown. You’re attached to the idea that things should stay the same.

Example: A coworker moves a meeting or a friend cancels plans, and it leaves you feeling disoriented or upset for the rest of the day. You feel stressed about getting older or resist changes in your relationships, clinging to how things used to be.

How to Let Go: Ease yourself into change by making small adjustments in your routine, like taking a different route to work or trying new foods, to build your comfort with flexibility. Focus on how changes have brought growth in the past, and try to embrace the flow of life as it evolves.

3. You’re Obsessed with Controlling Everything

How to Recognize: You feel anxious when things don’t go exactly as planned, and you often try to dictate how others should behave or handle situations.

Attachment: You're attached to controlling people and outcomes.

Example: You get frustrated when coworkers don’t follow your detailed instructions and feel the need to step in and “fix” things.

How to Let Go: Focus on controlling your own actions and let go of trying to manage others. When you feel the urge to micromanage, remind yourself that others are capable and that it’s okay if things are done differently.

4. Your Mood Rides on Success or Failure

How to Recognize: You feel on top of the world when you succeed but devastated when things don’t go as planned. You feel like a failure when you don’t meet certain milestones or achievements.

Attachment: You're attaching your self-worth to external achievements. You’re attached to success as a measure of your self-worth.

Example: You feel euphoric when you get a promotion, but if you don’t, you spiral into self-doubt and question your abilities. You feel disappointed and unworthy after not hitting a financial or career goal, questioning your value.

How to Let Go: Acknowledge that neither success nor failure defines you. Focus on personal growth, effort, and resilience, knowing that failure is part of the process and doesn’t diminish your worth. Success is just one part of who you are.

5. You Rely Heavily of Others for Emotional Stability

How to Recognize: You feel anxious or insecure when someone you care about doesn’t give you the attention you expect.

Attachment: You’re attached to seeking validation and emotional support from others.

Example: You feel neglected when a friend doesn’t respond to your texts right away, leading to feelings of insecurity.

How to Let Go: Cultivate emotional independence by practicing self-soothing activities like meditation, journaling, or exercising. Understand that you can manage your emotions without relying on others for reassurance.

6. You Can’t Handle Different Opinions

How to Recognize: You get defensive or upset when someone challenges your beliefs or disagrees with you.

Attachment: You're attached to being right or having others agree with you.

Example: You find yourself arguing at social gatherings when people have differing political or personal views.

How to Let Go: Practice listening without reacting. Allow yourself to hear other perspectives without feeling the need to prove your point. Acknowledge that it’s okay for people to have different opinions.

7. You Seek Pleasure and Avoid Discomfort

How to Recognize: You constantly seek distractions or comfort when faced with stress, avoiding anything unpleasant. You feel empty or dissatisfied when pleasure or excitement fades.

Attachment: You’re attached to chasing pleasure and avoiding discomfort.

Example: After a long day, you automatically binge-watch TV or overeat to escape your stress, avoiding confronting your emotions.

How to Let Go: Start by acknowledging discomfort when it arises instead of immediately avoiding it. Try sitting with your feelings for a few minutes, allowing yourself to experience them without judgment. Tara Brach's RAIN method might help.

8. You Need Everything to Be Perfect

How to Recognize: You find yourself getting upset over small things or reacting impulsively when things don’t go as planned.

Attachment: You're attached to the idea that things should always go smoothly or to an ideal of perfection.

Example: You feel frustrated for hours after a small mistake at work or a minor inconvenience like a traffic delay. You redo a project multiple times because it doesn’t meet your exact vision, even though it’s already good enough.

How to Let Go: Pause and take a few deep breaths before reacting. Ask yourself if the situation is worth the emotional energy you're giving it, and practice letting go of the need for everything to go perfectly. Embrace imperfection as part of life. Focus on progress over perfection, and allow yourself to be satisfied with doing your best rather than chasing an unattainable ideal.

9. You’re Overly Attached to Material Things

How to Recognize: You feel anxious or distressed if something you own is damaged or lost. You compare yourself to others based on material success or possessions.

Attachment: You’re attached to possessions as a source of security or identity.

Example: When your phone gets a scratch, you feel a wave of frustration even though it still works perfectly. You feel down when your friend upgrades their car.

How to Let Go: Practice gratitude for the function of your belongings, not their appearance. Begin decluttering, starting with items you no longer need, to reduce your attachment to material things.

10. You Crave Validation from Others

How to Recognize: You often seek praise or approval from others and feel discouraged when you don’t receive it.

Attachment: You’re attached to external validation for your self-worth.

Example: You post on social media and feel down if you don’t get as many likes or comments as you expected.

How to Let Go: Build internal validation by reflecting on your own accomplishments and strengths. Celebrate small wins privately and remind yourself that others' approval doesn’t define your worth.

11. You Struggle with Letting Go of the Past

How to Recognize: You replay past events, wishing you could change the outcome or dwelling on mistakes. You tend to hold onto grudges for past wrongs.

Attachment: You’re attached to how things could have been.

Example: You keep thinking about an argument you had last week, obsessing over what you should have said differently.

How to Let Go: Accept that the past is unchangeable. Focus on what you’ve learned from the experience and how it can guide you moving forward.

12. You Define Yourself by Your Role or Title

How to Recognize: You feel lost or insecure when your role or job title changes, or you cling to the identity tied to your work.

Attachment: You’re attached to your identity as defined by external roles.

Example: You feel uncertain and uneasy after changing jobs or losing a professional title that defined you for years.

How to Let Go: Reflect on your values, passions, and relationships outside of work. Explore other aspects of your identity that aren’t tied to career or titles.

13. You Expect Relationships or Situations to Stay the Same

How to Recognize: You feel upset or insecure when people or situations in your life change.

Attachment: You’re attached to the idea that relationships or circumstances should remain constant.

Example: You feel disappointed when a close friend’s new job means they have less time to spend with you.

How to Let Go: Accept that all relationships evolve. Focus on nurturing your connection in its current form and appreciate the time you do have, rather than clinging to what it used to be.

14. You’re Always Comparing Yourself to Others

How to Recognize: You frequently feel inadequate or jealous when you compare your achievements or lifestyle to others.

Attachment: You’re attached to external measures of success.

Example: You feel envious when a colleague gets a promotion or a friend buys a new house, leading you to question your own progress.

How to Let Go: Shift your focus to your own journey. Celebrate others’ success without comparing it to your own, and remind yourself that everyone’s path is different.

15. You Take On Other People’s Problems

How to Recognize: You feel responsible for fixing others’ issues, even when they don’t ask for help.

Attachment: You’re attached to solving problems for others to feel needed.

Example: You feel drained and overwhelmed by trying to help a friend through their financial struggles, even when they haven’t asked for your intervention.

How to Let Go: Set boundaries and remind yourself that others are responsible for their own lives. Offer support, but don’t feel obligated to fix everything for them.

16. Uncertainty Makes You Anxious

How to Recognize: You feel uncomfortable or anxious when things don’t go according to plan or when the future is unclear.

Attachment: You’re attached to certainty and predictability.

Example: Last-minute changes to your schedule cause you to feel anxious and out of control.

How to Let Go: Practice embracing uncertainty by allowing parts of your day to remain unplanned. Try small spontaneous actions to build comfort with the unknown.

17. You Fear Leaving Your Comfort Zone

How to Recognize: You feel anxious or resistant when faced with new experiences or challenges outside of your familiar routine.

Attachment: You’re attached to the security of your comfort zone.

Example: You stay in a job you don’t like because the idea of starting something new feels overwhelming and risky.

How to Let Go: Start by taking small, manageable steps outside your comfort zone. Whether it’s learning a new skill or meeting new people, gradually challenge yourself to embrace the unfamiliar.

18. Your Identity Relies on External Success

How to Recognize: You feel like a failure when you don’t meet certain milestones or achievements, questioning your value. You judge other people based on their external success markers.

Attachment: You’re attached to success as a measure of your self-worth.

Example: You feel disappointed and unworthy after not hitting a financial or career goal, leading you to question your abilities.

How to Let Go: Acknowledge that neither success nor failure defines you. Focus on personal growth, effort, and resilience, knowing that failure is part of the process and doesn’t diminish your worth. Be aware when you judge others and see it as a projection of your own insecurity.

Letting Go of Attachment

Letting go starts with simply noticing where attachment shows up in your life. Pick one area—whether it's worrying about the future, craving approval, or needing to control everything—and start working on loosening your grip. It doesn’t have to be a big change. Try focusing on one small thing, like letting go of the need for everything to be perfect or practicing being okay with uncertainty.

Over time, as you take these small steps, you’ll start to feel more at ease, more present, and less weighed down by stress. It’s a gradual process, but even a little shift can make a big difference.

Try This:

• Pick one thing you tend to cling to, like perfectionism or worrying.
• Set a small, specific goal for this week—whether that’s allowing things to be “good enough” or giving yourself just 10 minutes to worry and then moving on.
• At the end of each day, check in with yourself. How did it feel to let go, even just a little?

The more you practice, the more you’ll find that letting go brings a sense of freedom and peace that’s hard to get when you’re holding on too tight.

What’s something you’re working on letting go of? I’d love to hear your thoughts—share in the comments below!

Photo by Jon Moore

The post 18 Warning Signs You’re Too Attached – And What to Do About It appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

Work is a rubber ball (a blue sky-bounce handball for your Brooklynites)!

This visual comes in handy whenever I'm deciding what to do with the never-ending list of things I can do at work or the different opportunities that come my way. These priorities are also in line with what researcher Karl Pillemer found after interviewing thousands of adults over the age of 70 on their advice to live a fulfilling life.

The post Work is a rubber ball appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

So, how can you practically value your time over money?

Track your time

The first step to valuing your time is to track it. Use a time-tracking app or a simple spreadsheet to record how you spend your time. This will help you identify where your time is going and make more conscious decisions about how to spend your time. A few time wasters to flag when doing this exercise are any time you're spending to:

• Worry about what-ifs and what-if-nots
• Live and replay the past for whatever reason
• Fantasize about the future
• Take too long to decide on things that are reversible and matter very little (like what you're going to eat for lunch or whether or not you should buy those shoes on Amazon)

Set priorities and create a time budget

Once you have an idea of how you're spending your time, set priorities. What's most important to you? What do you value? Is it spending time with loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or advancing your career? Decide what matters most and make sure you're spending your time accordingly. One way to do that is to budget your time for the week to come and determine how much time you'll allocate to your key activities. This will help you make more intentional choices about how you spend your time. Take a moment and think about what you want your life to look like during your final years - who do you want around you? what would you like to accomplish? what physical condition would you like to be in? How you invest your time now will bring you either closer or further away from that vision.

Learn to say NO

Now that you have clarity about your vision of your life, you'll need to protect it by setting boundaries and saying no to things that don't align with your goals, value, and vision. Saying no can be difficult, but it's important if you want to value your time. If someone asks you to do something that doesn't align with your priorities, politely decline. This will free up your time for the things that matter most to you. A reframe that worked for me is to remember that saying yes to someone else is often saying no to myself.

Outsource and delegate

Often, when we track our time, we feel that everything we're doing right now is necessary to do. This may be true, but what isn't true is that you'll need to do everything yourself. Whenever possible, look for ways to outsource and delegate as many of your tasks as possible so you can free up your time (your most precious resource). Often, this will give others the opportunity to learn and grow and relieve you of tasks you may not want to do or do not fall into your area of expertise. You'll also be poised to take advantage of unexpected opportunities that may arise.

Avoid multitasking or being perfect

There is enough research now that shows multitasking is not only a less effective use of time but often a source of stress. You're better off focusing on one task at a time and giving it your full attention (assuming the task is an important one - I'm all for listening to a podcast while folding laundry). Another way to gain back time is to let go of perfectionism and the need to control every situation. Sometimes good enough is good enough. Don't spend excessive time on tasks that don't require it. This practice will help you feel more comfortable delegating to others.

Schedule downtime and take breaks

As part of your time budget, schedule downtime to recharge your batteries. Whether it's watching your favorite TV show or taking a walk outside, make sure you're taking breaks throughout the day to give your brain a rest. This is assuming that you're getting ample sleep. If you're not getting enough sleep, prioritize that in your time budget.

Practice mindfulness and be present

Mindfulness can help you stay focused on the present moment and become aware that each moment carries a choice around how you want to spend your time. By practicing mindfulness meditation, you can catch yourself slipping into poor uses of time and adjust. I found Dan Harris's book 10% Happier and Jon Kabat-Zinn's Mindfulness for Beginners a good place to start if you want to learn. Being present will allow you to fully enjoy the experience and value the time you're spending.

Invest your time like you invest any other important resource. Be intentional, deliberate, and rigorous. Your time is what makes up your life (4000 weeks), so spend it wisely. Click here for a visual representation of how much time you have left to invest (a la Tim Urban's post: The Tail End).

Photo by Aron Visuals 

The post How to Value Time Over Money appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

If so, how do you know?

Don't worry if you're unsure - you're not alone. Happiness can be difficult to pin down. Are we happy or not? Is happiness an end state or an in-the-moment feeling? Is it both?

On top of all that, and more importantly, if we want to be happy, how do we get there?

Is it about smiling more? Making enough money to retire? Gaining recognition from our boss or peers? Trying one of these 10 ways to be happier when you're just fine?

No matter how happy you feel right now, you can be happier by recognizing and taking the three roads to happiness as described in Springboard: Launching Your Personal Search for Success. According to the University of Pennsylvania Professor Richard Shell, people use "happiness" to describe the following three things:

1. Momentary Happiness

These are the immediate moments of positive emotions - pleasure, satisfaction, contentment, or fun.

You can increase this type of happiness by slowing down and paying attention to your current experience - savoring the food you're eating, hugging a loved one, or feeling grateful for being able to read these words (which means you have good vision, and access to a computer, internet, and education). Try mindfulness meditation to help you pay more attention to the present moment. You might also consider managing your expectations, so you increase your chances of positive surprises and lower the chances of being disappointed.

What's one specific example of momentary happiness that you've experienced?

2. Overall Happiness

This is your overall judgment about how things have gone for you so far (past) or how things will go for you in the future. You're usually assessing your happiness over a block of time (how happy were you in your childhood, your last job, your first relationship, your college days, etc.)

You can increase this type of happiness by:

• Making health a key priority: start eating better, sleeping amply, and exercising regularly.
• Achieving some long-term goals: reflect on a goal you're proud of or pursue a goal you've wanted to achieve - write that novel, start that business, get that degree, live in that country, have those kids, or whatever else you might be putting off
• Investing in relationships: Spend time with people you enjoy and love and who love you. If needed, mend rifts with the important people in your life.
• Making enough money: Attain financial independence so you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Money alone may not lead to happiness, but financial resources are important for you to have autonomy over how you spend your time. Hopefully, you'll be spending that time with the people you love.

What's one specific example of overall happiness that you've experienced?

3. Deep Happiness

This is the feeling you get when you're experiencing flow, flourishing, or a sense of deep joy, connection, and meaning with those around you. Professor Shell draws parallels between deep happiness and the Hebrew word "simcha," defined by one of his interviewees as "the experience of the soul that comes when you are doing what you should be doing."

To increase deep happiness, find a way to serve a purpose higher than yourself. NYU's Jonathan Haidt suggests in The Happiness Hypothesis, that deep happiness comes from striving for "the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself." You get to define what is right.

What's one specific example of deep happiness that you've experienced? (answering this question may give you more insight into your definition of meaningful)

Hopefully, by recognizing the different ways you can experience happiness, you can identify concrete ways to live a happier life. Take a moment this week and assess whether your daily activities are helping you be happy. Which type of happiness do you want to prioritize? What might be something on this list that you can try during the coming week?

Please share any practices or behaviors that have helped you increase your Momentary, Overall, or Deep happiness in the comments section below.

If you want to dive deeper and figure out how to define success for yourself, consider taking Professor Shell's Success course on Coursera (free to audit). You can find other free courses along with our recommended reading on happiness and well-being on our recommendations page.

Photo by Stan B

The post The Three Roads to Happiness (or 3 Ways to Be Happier Throughout Your Lifetime) appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

(click on book cover for more details)

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

• Published: August 2021
• ISBN-10: 0374159122
• EP Rating: 5 out of 5 (must read)

EP Main Takeaway: Don't strive to be more efficient and productive with the hope that you'll be able to get everything done, because you won't get it done. The more you get done, the more there will be to do. Focus on the key things you want to do and do those things. In the end, what you achieve doesn't matter, so live your life the way you want and have an impact on the things you want to impact.

Life is what we pay attention to. To live your life more effectively, don't mind what happens. Imagining what should have been or could have been wastes time you can use to live your life. Stop focusing on using your time well because it'll make each day feel like a drag and you're focused on assessing whether your time is being used well instead of living your life. Don't treat "the present solely as a path to some superior future state" because it robs you of the satisfaction of the present.

The post Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

getting more sleep?

But of course, your hesitancy to start your day is likely more involved than getting more sleep. I've been re-reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (free MIT version) and the following passage struck me:

"In the morning, when you rise unwillingly, let this thought be present: I am rising to the work of a human being. Why then am I dissatisfied if I am going to do the things for which I exist and for which I was brought into this world?" 

As I thought about all the times I didn't want to get out of bed, I realized that it's usually because I had to do something that someone else wanted me to do, and not something that I wanted to or chose to do. Often, when I find myself feeling forced to do something, I try to remind myself that every action I take is one that I have chosen to take on. This recognition gives me the choice to either continue doing what I am doing or to make a change.

I've found this simple reframe as a quick way to compel myself to start the day I've chosen. Of course, there are times when I choose to sleep in as well.

The post When you’re finding it tough to get up in the mornings … appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

Here’s what is great about exploring one topic through a variety of different channels: the same insights consistently show up across different people’s experiences. It’s validating. One such insight is that you can increase your happiness through intentional actions.

If you’re interested in being happier than you are right now, consider the following activities that seem to hold true for many:

1. Commit acts of kindness – whether it’s random or planned, take time out of your day to do something kind for someone else. This may be especially helpful if you’re feeling down on yourself since it takes the focus off you. It can also help you keep perspective, especially when you work with those who are in much tougher situations. In the Happy documentary, one individual increased his happiness through community service. His insight: “Life is a loan given by God and I have to pay it back with interest”.
2. Pursue intrinsic goals (personal growth, close connected relationships, community service) as opposed to extrinsic goals (money, image, status)
   • Spend more time with close family and friends. They will be with you until the end and particularly when times are tough.
   • Be what you want to be – it’s hard to be happy when you’re constantly trying to be what others want you to be. Even if you get there, you’ll most likely be disappointed. If you’re not sure what you want, take the Know What You Want online workshop (To take the course for free, email us referencing this article and we'll send you a sign-up code).
3. Add some variety to your life – whether it’s changing the music you typically listen to or taking a class on a topic foreign to you, varying your routine can revitalize your experience of the world.
4. Get some aerobic exercise – movement releases dopamine and other hormones related to your mood. It’s easy to understand and even easier to put off. The hardest part about getting exercise is to start, so don’t delay. Just put on your training shoes and get to the gym, or wherever you go for exercise. Getting ample sleep is another good way to quickly boost your mood.
5. Strive to get into flow more often – flow is what happens when you’re so absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time. People often report feeling better during and after being in flow. If you're not sure how to create the conditions to get into flow, check out this article.
6. Feel in control of your situation – when things aren’t going your way, it’s easy to blame others or the circumstances. This puts you at the whim of the universe, which can often lead to unhappiness. One way to address this dynamic is to take extreme ownership of everything that happens to you so you take back control of how you live your life.
7. Build up your resilience – resilience is the ability to recover quickly when unfortunate things happen to you. One method I’ve found helpful is to diversify your life cornerstones. If achieving your work goals is a major cornerstone for you, avoid other work-related cornerstones. Consider health, relationships, or other unrelated areas where you can invest your time and energy. This way if one area of your life is not going well, you can lean into the other areas.
8. Step off the hedonic treadmill – if you find yourself trying to keep up with others on material goods or prestige (for example: type of car, status of job or school, etc.), know that you can opt out of this dissatisfaction-inducing competition. There is no need to run a race that gets you nowhere.
9. Find ways to sincerely give thanks - focus on what you have versus what you don’t have. If you can read this article, you have something to be grateful for because it means you can read one of the most common languages in the world, have access to internet, and have free time to read. Think about 2-3 specific things you’re grateful for each day to increase your happiness.
10. See time as a gift that you can use or waste. In Tim Urban’s popular article, Your Life in Weeks, he broke up our lifespan by months and then by weeks to highlight that no matter how we slice it, our time is finite. Although this realization may seem morbid, my hope is that it will encourage you to make the most out of the limited time you have.

Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert's research shows that we tend to overestimate the intensity and duration of our emotional responses to good and bad events. The good feelings you think you’ll get when you hit the lottery, get promoted, or meet your soul mate is most likely short-lived. Conversely, the lows you might be feeling now because of a job loss, bad break-up, or health issue might fade much faster than you think.

No matter what your current mood might be, consider the actions above to increase your happiness. You might also want to take this Coursera class on the Science of Well-Being.

If you have any good books or other media on increasing happiness, please share it in the comments section.

Photo by Sebastián León Prado

The post 10 Ways to Be Happier When You’re Feeling Just Fine appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

(click on book cover for more details)

Conscious Business: How to Build Value Through Values

• Published: October 2013
• ISBN-10: 1622032020
• EP Rating: 5 out of 5 (must read)

EP Main Takeaway: The larger purpose of business or any competitve activity is not to gain material wealth or success "but to serve as a theater for self-knowledge, self-actualization, and self-transcendence." Business happens when two parties can exchange goods and services where both parties are better off. To succeed, you want to continuously enhance your ability to serve others while "taking a stand for your values and interacting with others authentically, constructively, and impeccably."

"Self-actualization is best supported through expressions of responsibility, autonomy, and essential integrity: a commitment to a meaningful purpose that goes beyond the immediate gratification of selfish desires and embraces others in service... main task of a conscious business is to help people succeed (accomplish their mission) while they develop healthy relationships (belong to a community) and experience an unconditional sense of peace, happiness, and growth (actualize and transcend the self)."

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But what does energy management really entail? We can easily see the time we save but it's harder for us to know if we're managing our energy well. A helpful visual to use is a personal energy tank. As you complete activities, energy is depleted and when you rest, your energy tank is refilled.

Three key strategies for managing your energy is to (1) prevent your energy tank from becoming empty, (2) increase the size of your tank, and (3) decrease the amount of energy you deplete per activity. 

Below are a few practical ways to manage your energy effectively:

Take care of your body

Your body is the machine that does your work and your job is to keep the machine maintained and running at max efficiency. To ensure your energy tank is at full during the start of your day, the most important thing you can do is to get 7-9 hours of sleep. To increase the capacity of your energy tank and to lower the amount of energy you expend for each activity, exercise frequently and eat well. The better your physical conditioning, the more you'll be able to do. There are many resources you can use to optimize your individual fitness routine and diet - choose one and get started. Here is a regime I use when I want to get back into shape.

Understand how emotions impact your energy and vice versa

As humans, we constantly feel emotions. Most of us are not aware of how our emotions drain our energy and how our energy impacts our emotions. The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has created a mood meter app which divides Emotion vs Energy into the quadrants below:

From an energy-use perspective, high energy emotions drain more energy than low energy emotions. This is true for both positive and negative emotions. You may be feeling "motivated" or "inspired" but remember these high-energy emotions are quickly depleting your energy. The way to recharge your energy is to rest, which means staying in the low energy, high pleasantness quadrant (gratitude or meditation is a good way to get there). Another powerful way to use emotions is as a marker for your energy level throughout the day. Ask yourself: What emotion am I feeling right now and is this a high or low energy emotion?

From an emotion-management perspective, first, identify which emotion you're feeling and which quadrant you're in. For example, if you're feeling "miserable", you're in the low-energy, low pleasantness quadrant. To break out of this emotional state, find ways to increase pleasantness by re-reading thank you letters from others or watching videos of your kids. If you want to restore your energy, consider sleeping early or going for a light run.

Learn to control your attention

What you experience in life is directly related to what you focus your attention on. Your ability to shift attention towards what you want to do and away from distractions will allow you to do more with the energy you have. Meditative practices, like yoga, meditation, or running long-distance, can help you better guide your mind to where you want it to go.

Whenever you can, avoid multi-tasking, which is simply task-switching, and tackle your most important activity first.

Work on something that matters

Most if not all of us want a meaningful life. What is difficult about reaching this goal is figuring out what will make a difference and give us a sense of purpose. During a recent talk, I heard the following three elements of meaningful work that I found useful:

1. Do something that helps people - most people think of this element when they think of meaningful work. If what you're doing can directly improve someone's life without making another person worse off, you'll probably find it meaningful.
2. Do something that uncovers the truth - when your activities unlock a truth about you or how the world really works, you may find yourself infused with purpose. This search for truth may be the reason so many researchers devote their lives to their narrow field of study for little to no social rewards.
3. Do something that makes the world more beautiful - whether it's a painting, song, computer program, mathematical proof, etc., spending time to add more beauty to the world can fuel you when there is seemingly little else to gain from your efforts.

When you do work that you find meaningful, you'll find that you'll increase your energy capacity significantly. This will allow you to accomplish more than others who may not be supercharged by the type of work that they do.

As you think about your day tomorrow, consider getting a good night's rest. After you wake up with your energy tank full, work only on your most important task for about 60-90 minutes. Then take a mental and physical break by taking a walk or eating a light snack. Continue your meaningful work but monitor your emotions to gauge your energy levels. If you're feeling depleted, consider a 20-minute power nap or another way to rest so you can recharge. Complete your workday with less important but necessary tasks and reflect on how you managed your energy. End your day with a good night's rest and repeat.

Photo by Riccardo Annandale

The post 4 Practical Ways to Manage Your Energy to Achieve More in Life appeared first on Embrace Possibility.