1. Your Starting Point Matters — But What You Do Next Matters More

Buffett begins with something we often forget: luck.

He’s candid about his advantaged upbringing and grateful for the environment that allowed him to thrive. But he didn’t coast. He used what he had — opportunities, relationships, teachers, mentors — and worked consistently over decades. Even at 95, he still goes into the office five days a week.

Take a moment and acknowledge the advantages and outside influences that helped you get here. Then remember: disadvantages don’t have to stop you. Progress comes from what you do with what you have.

Buffett puts it well:

“You will never be perfect, but you can always be better.”

Life won’t be fair, but it will teach you.

2. "Get the Right Heroes and Copy Them"

Buffett frequently mentioned the people who have shaped him — Charlie Munger, Don Keough, Tom Murphy, Stan Lipsey, and others.

Not one of them is known for flashiness or fame. They’re known for character, a quality that Buffett values.

Try this right now:

Write down three people you admire and the quality you admire most about each.
Then ask: How can I practice one of these qualities this week?

3. Don’t Let Past Mistakes Define You

Buffett opens his final thoughts with a reminder we all need:

“Don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes – learn at least a little from them and move on.” 

Any time you mess up, take these two essential steps:

• Learn from it
• Move on

The key is remembering to do both quickly.

4. Know What You Want Your Obituary to Say

Buffett tells the story of Alfred Nobel accidentally reading his own obituary — and being horrified by what it said. That moment pushed him to reshape his life’s direction.

His challenge to us:

“Decide what you would like your obituary to say and live the life to deserve it.” 

A few questions worth sitting with:

• What would I want my obituary to say?

• Who would I want delivering my eulogy — and what would I want them to say?

• Are my daily actions moving me toward that version of myself?

If not, today is a good day to realign.

5. Be Kind and Compassionate (Especially When It’s Inconvenient)

Buffett reminds us that:

"Kindness is costless but also priceless."

It’s easy to be kind to people we like or people we care about impressing. But true compassion shows up when there’s nothing to gain.

A simple question to consider:

How can I be kind to someone I might normally overlook?

6. Buffett's Formula for Success

When Buffett looks back, the themes he highlights are surprisingly ordinary:

• Build long-term friendships.

• Work with people you admire and respect.

• Stay curious.

• Focus on substance, not image.

• Stick to your core competence.

• Help others quietly and consistently.

• Play the long game and let your efforts compound.

These elements are not sexy and won't go viral any time soon — but they work.

Final Takeaway: Life Is Long… Until It Isn’t

Buffett recognizes that:

“Father Time… is undefeated.”

We should too. Recognizing that truth isn’t depressing — it’s clarifying.
It reminds us to live the life we want now, not someday.

If you enjoyed these lessons, you might also appreciate this:

👉 30 Life Lessons from 1,000 People Who’ve Lived a Full Life

Wishing you a rewarding life!

The post Warren Buffett’s Final Letter: Lessons Learned from a Rewarding Life appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

We trust streetlights and drivers when we cross the street. We trust banks and other financial institutions when we give them our money. We trust doctors when we take the medicine they prescribe for us.

Trust is also the foundation for all our meaningful relationships - at work and at home.

Despite its critical importance, we rarely work on our own trustworthiness. Is there more we can do beyond being honest and forthright? In Stephen Covey's Speed of Trust, he shares 13 behaviors to help you strengthen others’ trust in you. Here’s how I interpret the 13 behaviors. Assess them against your own experience and find practical ways to apply them in your life this week:

1. Be honest and let people know where you stand. Don't distort reality or manipulate others. This will help your believability.

Is there someone at home or at work that might benefit from more direct feedback or an honest opinion from you? 

2. Show that you care. Consider other people's interests and treat everyone with respect. If other people feel like you're only looking out for yourself, they will distrust you and your motives.

How do the important people in your life know that you care?

3. Be transparent. Avoid hidden agendas. There is a good chance that other people already know what you're not sharing. When you speak the truth, it demonstrates you're not afraid to be candid. This is especially important if the truth is difficult to share.

What are you purposefully not sharing from others (for their sake or yours)?

4. When you wrong someone (hopefully, inadvertently), make things right. Apologize and take action to make the other person feel whole.

Is there anyone who might benefit from an apology? This might be someone you've taken for granted.

5. Give others credit more often and avoid gossiping about or bad-mouthing others. Find ways to promote others in a sincere way.

Whose accomplishment can you help promote this week? 

6. Deliver for others and get results consistently. Take ownership of your performance. Don't make excuses. Do the work necessary to get results.

Did you achieve the results you were responsible for at work and at home? If not, what will you do differently?

7. Strive to be the best in your field. Vince Lombardi, a famous American football coach, said, "Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence". The best way to improve is to keep learning and seek out quality feedback. Keep sharpening your saw.

What are you doing this week to improve on your craft?

8. Don't delude yourself. Tackle the real issues and be willing to look at yourself in the mirror. Related to behavior #1, don't distort your own reality. Ray Dalio's Principles book dives into this topic in-depth. The better you a pulse on reality, the better your decisions will be. This behavior dovetails well with being transparent.

What feedback are you hearing from others that you don't believe to be true? That might give you a clue on what you're not willing to admit to yourself. What will you do this week to account for this feedback?

9. Be clear about what you want from others. It's easy for trust to break down when you don’t meet expectations and it's easy to miss the mark when expectations are unclear or not shared. Take time to confirm with others to make sure you're on the same page. Sometimes, we expect those closest to us to read our minds because they should "just know". Expecting people to read your mind is unrealistic.

What are your expectations for the people closest to you and have you clearly communicated these expectations?

10. Take ownership of your actions and stress accountability for all. Don't blame others or make excuses when things don't go your way. Expect others to perform and hold them accountable.

How might you take ownership of the things that went wrong this month? What might you do differently if you held yourself fully accountable?

11. Lead with listening and stay open-minded. When other people are speaking, you may hear their words but if you're holding on to a specific viewpoint, you may block true listening. Trust that you won't corrupt your perspective by considering the opinion of others. Whenever you listen, go beyond the words and figure out what matters to people. Understand the power of leveraging diverse perspectives. Listen more than you talk.

What did you learn in your conversations this week that you didn't already know? 

12. Keep your promises. This is hopefully just a reminder for you. When you commit, follow through. When you don't follow through, people trust you less. Don't break confidences - if you're not sure whether you can share something, you probably shouldn’t.

"When you make a commitment, you build hope. When you keep it, you build trust"

- Stephen Covey

How often do you follow through on your commitments? If you've failed to deliver, see behavior #4.

13. Trust others. It's hard for others to trust you when they don't feel like you trust them. Be judicious about whom you trust. However, for the people you do trust, concretely show them that trust. You might, for example, avoid checking in with someone who owes you something to demonstrate that you trust that they will deliver as promised.

How are you concretely showing other people that you trust them?

If you want to assess your trustworthiness with others, you can apply the trust equation. For more ways to build trust, check out 101 ways to build trust.

Photo by Purnomo Capunk

The post 13 Behaviors to Build Trust – Speed of Trust appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

Trust makes life easier because it allows you to focus on building and growing as opposed to worrying and guarding. When there is low trust, it's hard to accomplish anything significant without expending extra energy and effort.

To assess the level of trust in your relationships, look for the following signs of strong trust:

• Open and relaxed exchange of information
• A giving atmosphere as opposed to one where people are keeping score or operating tit-for-tat
• Easy transactions - no haggling or complicated contracts

Another way to analyze the trust in your relationships along with increasing your own trustworthiness is to use David Maister's trust equation:

To build trust more effectively:

• Increase your Credibility by building up your knowledge and expertise. Can you actually deliver on what you say you can deliver? Credentials and references will increase your trustworthiness.
• Demonstrate your Reliability by developing a reputation for getting things done and keeping your word. If people can count on you to follow through, you'll be more trustworthy in their eyes.
• Form a connection (Intimacy) and put the other person at ease so they feel comfortable opening up to you. One way to connect is to be appropriately vulnerable. You might be credible and reliable but if the other person doesn't open up to you, it'll be difficult to deepen your trust with them.
• Be focused on others and reduce your Self Orientation. No one will trust you if they feel you're only out for yourself. Show people you care about them by first understanding what they want out of life and helping them get it.

Different people may put different weights on these four variables. For example, if you’re action and results oriented, you might give more weight to credibility and reliability. If you value relationships over getting things done, connectedness and low self-orientation may be more important to you.

A great way to internalize this trust formula is to assess the trustworthiness of those around you. Conduct a trust audit of your key relationships. Consider three to five people in professional and personal contexts that are relevant for you and assess them on the four dimensions of the equation.

For those you trust, break down why you trust them. For those who you don't trust, see where they might be falling short. For example, maybe you can't trust your boss because she is unreliable even though you know she has your best interest in mind. Perhaps you trust a specific teacher because they are good at what they do and they show how much they care about your learning and development.

Probably the more important question is how trustworthy are you?

Look at how you stack up against these 4 variables and set goals to increase your trustworthiness. Maybe you need to get an MBA to increase your credibility as a business leader or spend more time getting to know people and actively helping and appreciating them so you come across as less self-oriented.

Increasing the level of trust across all your relationships will lead to more meaningful and easier interactions.

If you want more ideas to deepen trust, here are 101 simple ways to build trust.

Photo by Jakob Owens

The post How to Build Trust and Assess Trustworthiness appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

There is so much advice out there to be agile and flexible to manage change. The risk sometimes comes when you become too flexible and compromise on certain traits that shouldn't be comprised.

One such trait is INTEGRITY.

You can find this characteristic on most qualities-of-successful-people lists, yet, it's difficult for people to describe how someone can exude this quality.

Before we dive into the benefits of INTEGRITY, let's define it.

INTEGRITY comes from the Latin word "integer" meaning whole and complete. You are whole when your beliefs, values, principles, words, actions, expectations and reactions are consistent. Simply put:

• The rules that govern your life are aligned with your values and principles.
• The words that speak matches what you believe.
• The actions that you take mirrors what you say and think.
• Your reactions match your expectations.

What makes INTEGRITY valuable is that, although all agree it's a good trait, it's uncommon. A potential reason for that is because it's easy to believe having INTEGRITY will hold you back in life. It's easy to see this trait as a burden rather than an advantage.

This viewpoint makes senses. There are numerous examples that show people benefiting from a lack of INTEGRITY:

• Colleagues who lie and get promoted
• Business men who cheat and make millions
• Athletes who use drugs and win 1st
• Politicians who break their promises after being elected

Cutting corners and acting inconsistently with your beliefs is especially tempting when things change quickly and you're fighting hard just to keep up.

The issue with this perspective is that it's skewed. People only see the positives of not having INTEGRITY while being blind to the consequences and costs.

Here are some negatives to leading a life without INTEGRITY:

• You live in constant fear of being found out
• You are stressed in having to keep all your stories straight
• You lose sleep over the people you've hurt
• You get punished if people do find out - jail, unemployment, lost relationships/reputation, etc.

When you weigh the costs and benefits, living with INTEGRITY is typically the better option. You reduce the stress of covering who you are. Living with INTEGRITY frees up your mind to think of ways to grow as opposed to expending mental energy to watching your back or keep track of your lies. 

Having INTEGRITY also boosts your reputation. When people trust you, doors will open for you professionally and personally. By choosing to have INTEGRITY, you not only open up more possibilities but makes it easier to make decisions about different paths.  When you know who you are and you value INTEGRITY, you pick the option that best aligns with the person you want to be.

For those of you who already have INTEGRITY, congratulations and stay strong. For those of you who are not sure if you have it, know that INTEGRITY can be learned and built.

To build INTEGRITY:

Clearly Define Yourself

To know whether you are being consistent, you first need to be clear about your values, beliefs, and principles. People around you will try to sway you to take on their value and belief systems but only YOU can decide the ones that best fit you. To have INTEGRITY doesn't mean you need to do what society deems as "good", you just have to live according to how you want to live and align everything about you to that core.

Keep Your Promises

One strong sign of INTEGRITY is keeping your word. If you say you're going to do something, do it. If you don't want to do it, say you don't want to do it and don't do it.  Sounds simple and the truth is, it is simple.

Note: Simple does not mean easy.

Take It Easy on Yourself

There will be times when it is tough to make the right decision and you end up making the wrong decision. That's ok, it happens. Get back on track and learn from that experience to prevent it in the future. What you don't want to do is give up on having INTEGRITY.

INTEGRITY, in both the long and short run, will make your life easier. Give it a try and see for yourself.

Photo by Allen Allen

The post Maintaining Integrity in a Fast-Changing World appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

The most valuable asset you can have is trust. It allows for flow and openness. When there is no trust, it becomes harder to get anything done. Think of one of your relationships where there is a lot of trust. Now think of another one with very little trust.

Which one do you prefer?

We can all be better off with more trust in our lives and I'm going to show you a "few" things you can do to build that trust.

Please note: My definition of "client" is anyone that has a relationship with you. This can be your spouse, your boss, your customer, your friend, etc.

Before we look at the different ways you can build trust, let's look at the benefits of trust:

You become influential - people will seek you out for advice and follow your recommendations without much persuading.

You get valuable information - your clients will open up to you when they trust you. They'll give you valuable information and feedback.

You can serve your clients more effectively - with access to insider information (#2), you can get to the root of the problem and really make a difference for your client.

You will get more business - people refer you when they trust you. This leads to high-quality leads. Would you refer someone you didn't trust?

You get less stressed - when your clients trust you, they give you the benefit of the doubt. Whether you're running late for a meeting or hanging out late with friends, it's less stressful to know that people will be understanding and forgiving.

You avoid bigger problems - with trust, your clients will communicate with you earlier on and warn you of any issues they are seeing. With enough trust, your clients will go out of their way to protect you.

You have more effective negotiations - research has shown that subjects who thought they were collaborators struck better deals than subjects who thought they were competitors. Surprise, surprise.

Now that you see the benefits of getting trust, here are a 101 ways to build trust (no particular order):

How to Build Trust

1. Be honest - if you tell the truth, your clients will trust you. Always be honest especially when no one is looking. This will help you build a reputation that people can count on your word.

2. Respect your client - treat your clients with the same respect you would show the President of your country. Respect their time as well by never being late. If you need help being on time, check out How to Always Be On Time.

3. Sincerely care - when you truly care about others, it is hard not to trust you.

4. Ask open-ended questions - learn more about your client and be interested in their answers. Open-ended questions give your client the opportunity to tell you about themselves. Ask more questions based on the answers that you get.

5. Don't be perfect - there is always something fishy about someone who seems to have everything going for them. Don't waste your energy hiding your mistakes or weaknesses. This sends a message that you're not hiding anything and that you want to build trust.

6. Don't look at your watch - we're all on a tight schedule but looking at your watch when someone is talking is rude. If you must be wary of the time, ask for permission to look at your watch.

7. Find the win-win - in negotiations, always look for the win-win outcome. Win-lose outcomes are one-time only events. When both parties win, you strengthen the relationship.

8. Don't hedge your answers - be definitive when you can. When you hedge your answers, you are giving yourself an "out". How can anyone trust you when you keep dodging responsibility. Politicians are notorious for hedging their answers. How much do you trust your politician?

9. Have your clients best interests in mind - clients know when you are looking out for them and when you are looking out for yourself. It's hard to trust you when there is a conflict of interests.

10. Don't show off - it puts people off and you come off like a self-promoter interested in your own success and not the success of others. This breeds resentment more than trust.

11. Ask others to endorse you - if you prove yourself trustworthy and you offer great products and services, don't be afraid to ask your clients to recommend you. It's easier for others to trust you if someone they already trust endorses you.

12. Paraphrase what was said - giving the information back to the client in your own words is a great way to show you were listening and to demonstrate your understanding. People trust others who take the time to listen.

13. Be transparent - I have issues trusting people or companies who are not fully transparent. For example, companies that deliberately hide their prices for their products and services.

14. Call your client - relationships get weaker if you don't nurture them. Call your clients on a periodic basis, not only when you need to sell them something.

15. Take responsibility - when something goes wrong and it's your fault, take responsibility right away and focus on the next steps. It's easier to trust someone who owns up to their mistakes.

16. Take whatever is being said seriously - don't dismiss another person's problem as being small or counter with the size of your own problems. Just listen. Whatever they are going through is real and serious for them and you should treat it as such.

17. Add value - value is what people are willing to pay for. Keep doing great work that adds value and others will reward you with trust.

18. Form a common enemy - when you focus on a common cause, it naturally builds trust and rapport to deal with the issue.

19. Be poised - its hard to trust someone who gets emotional easily. Breathing helps.

20. Empathize - acknowledge the feelings behind what is being said and show empathy. Your clients will trust you more when they feel that you understand them.

21. Make the client feel significant - this is a basic human need and if you fulfill it, people will trust you. Always be sincere when making your clients feel important. They can tell if you're faking it.

22. Be accessible - when people know they can get access to you, it builds trust because they can hold you accountable. People who I can't reach always seem less trustworthy to me.

23. Look people in the eye - if you constantly shift your eyes, it makes people suspicious of you.

24. Remove distractions - if you're meeting with clients, remove all distractions (turn off phone, computer screen, etc.) and give them your undivided attention.

25. Have high self-esteem - be comfortable with who you are. Don't try so hard to impress, it makes you look wishy-washy. Be careful about these other warning signs of low self-esteem.

26. Show commitment - when you show commitment, people trust you. Think of men who propose (and actually get married), employees who sign employment contracts and people who always show up when they say they will.

27. Say "I don't know" - admit that you don't know and say it upfront and direct. You'll get a lot of credibility for that.

28. Deliver what you promise - Do what you say you are going to do. This is one of the best ways to build trust.

29. Use a real picture - if you have an online presence, use a real picture of yourself. An authentic picture lets me know that you're not afraid to put yourself out there and you're willing to be responsible for what you write on your website and blog.

31. Volunteer information - don't wait until someone follows up to give information that is important to them. Let them know as soon as you know.

32. Know your audience - make sure you use language that your client will understand. If you're not talking to a technical person, don't use technical language.

33. Take time to explain - when your client is confused, be patient and take time to help them understand. They'll appreciate you for it and reciprocate the next time you're confused.

34. Don't abuse privileges - as you gain more trust, you'll be given more privileges. Don't abuse those privileges.

35. Don't fidget - be aware of your body movements. Minimize your leg shakes, body shifts and hand fidgets. It's hard to trust someone who seems nervous or anxious.

36. Stay up-to-date - your clients' situation, preferences, and needs change over time. It's up to you to keep up-to-date through proactive communication. Don't wait for your clients to update you.

37. Give proper feedback - if you want to build trust, you need to tell your client the truth when they make mistakes. "Yes Men" are not very trustworthy

38. Don't name-drop - you might think this will help build your credibility but when you a drop names, it's a turn-off. It seems like you're using that person's name to compensate for your abilities. For better results, have others endorse you (#16).

39. Stand up for your client - if you feel your client is being taken advantage of in any way, stand up for them or at the very least, inform them of what's going on.

40. Make it personal - get out of the office and meet your clients face-to-face. You need to get personal to build deep trust.

41. Give good advice - if your advice helps people, they'll trust you and your advice even more.

42. Go ABCD - go Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. I didn't make the acronym up but ABCD is a great strategy for building trust. Always look for ways to over deliver.

43. Don't hard sell - You may have the best product or service out there that everyone can benefit from but no one likes to be sold to or feel forced to do things. Build a relationship, educate and persuade, not badger. Check out Permission Marketing by Seth Godin (affiliate) or my How to Sell with Integrity Series.

44. Share ideas - when you come across good ideas, share them with your clients. Share ideas that demonstrate your deep understanding of your clients' needs.

45. Return calls quickly - if someone leaves a message, call them back as soon as you can. This makes the other person feel important and makes them like and trust you more.

46. Be curious - ask questions and be genuinely interested to learn more. Resist taking over the conversation or trying to immediately solve the problem or issue.

47. Keep secrets - if a client tells you something confidential, keep it to yourself unless it violates your moral and ethical standards.

48. Don't over-explain - When you over-explain, you're trying to remove yourself from being responsible. This is one of the best ways to lose someone's trust.

49. Show compassion - step into the other person's shoes. When something bad happens to your clients, express your sympathies.

50. Value the relationship - show your client that you're in it for the long-term and demonstrate that you value the relationship. This may mean taking the first step in a compromise.

51. Ask for clarification - when asked a question, always clarify it before answering. Think Columbo - "I may be a little slow here..."

52. Know your outcome - if your goal is to build trust, then your desire to help the client should surpass your desire to be right or to win. Remember this next time you are trying to prove how right you are at the expense of your relationship to the client.

53. Don't use a "fake" voice - some people I know use a "professional" voice that isn't their own. Use your own voice. If you don't like how it sounds, get some voice lessons, they work.

54. Don't manipulate - it is possible to use the ideas on this list with the intention to manipulate. Don't do it because it won't end well. It never does.

55. Don't lie - one small lie can destroy a mountain of trust.

56. Understand that your client is unique - every person in this world is unique and should be treated as such. A one size fits all approach rarely works.

57. Don't finish other people's sentences - even if they are taking a long time at it, be patient and let them say it.

58. Don't try too hard - when you are overly servile or deferential, it can be fairly annoying. I find it hard to trust anyone who cannot think and act for themselves.

59. Never talk down to anyone - there is no situation where this is acceptable.

60. Be competent - always work to improve your skills. If you want to be trusted, you need to be competent. This is especially important in a leadership role. Think back to any bosses you've had that were incompetent. Did you trust them?

61. Say what you mean - if you think it's a bad idea, say so. When you build up a reputation of saying what you mean, people don't have to second guess what you're trying to say. This helps to increase your trustworthiness.

62. Focus on your similarities - highlight what you have in common with the other person. We like people who are similar and we trust people whom we like.

63. Listen attentively - Replay for the other person something that shows you've listened carefully. This is especially effective when you bring up and help someone with challenges they've told you about in previous conversations where they don't expect you to remember.

64. Think abundance - adopt the belief that there is enough for everyone and you are not in competition for limited resources. Actions that reflect this belief builds trust because you become more collaborative with those around you and work to raise people up as opposed to putting them down.

65. Send a birthday card - there is no better way to show that you care than to remember someone's birthday and to get them a nice card. In this internet age, a handwritten card goes a long way.

66. Give specific compliments - the more specific your compliment, the more sincere it usually is. It shows that you took time to notice.

67. Start and end meetings on time - if you set up a meeting, make sure the agenda is clear and that the meeting starts and more importantly, ends on time.

68. Be consistent - don't change your views on a whim. It makes people distrustful.

69. Read books related to emotional intelligence - How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman are good places to start.

70. Don't gossip - don't gossip about your clients, don't gossip about others to your clients.

71. Give freebies - if you sell a product or service, consider giving a free version of it. It allows you to help those without resources to access your expertise. Make sure your freebies are of high quality and valuable.

72. Remember names - there is nothing more interesting to us than our own names. Show that you remember the other person's name. If you need help, check out How to Remember Names Even If You Have Bad Memory.

73. Trust others first - people treat you the way you treat them. Give trust first if you want to get trust.

74. Be comfortable with silence - don't feel obligated to fill in the silence. I know it can be uncomfortable but let the other person think through their ideas and allow them to break the silence first.

75. Be responsive - if someone is unable to reach you, make sure you respond within 24 hours with an acknowledgment or have an auto-reply message explaining the exact times when you can be reached.

76. Have integrity - stick to your beliefs and values no matter what. Check out this article on the Importance of Keeping Integrity in the Workplace.

77. Allow others to help you - sometimes we are so focused on giving that we do not allow others to give to us. Doing this robs them of the joy of giving. Let others give.

78. Don't blame - when things go wrong, don't point fingers. Empower yourself by taking responsibility and then determining what you're going to do next. Don't waste the present thinking about the past that can't be changed. A person that doesn't blame quickly gains the trust of others.

79. Be yourself - don't change who you are to please other people. It's tiring for everyone. If you don't know how to be yourself, check out this article by Chris Guillebeau.

80. Express emotions - "just the facts" may be appropriate during an investigation but when dealing with people, emotions add the human element which is key for building trust

81. Pay attention - be attentive to the body language to make sure it matches the meaning of the spoken language.

82. Don't prejudge - listen with an open mind and take in what is being said without coloring it with your own judgments.

83. Understand that the map is not the territory - our reality is only our perception of reality. Understanding that everyone perceives the world differently allows us to be more open-minded and accepting of ideas.

84. Don't interrupt - when you interrupt, you are telling everyone that what you have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say.

85. Get testimonials - if you do great work, ask your clients to write testimonials for you. These are the first things I read before buying anything. Never fake testimonials.

86. Don't be a know-it-all - you can't possibly know how to do everything and you don't need to. Always be transparent about what you know and don't imply that you know more than you actually do. Being human is a good thing.

87. Have passion - when I see someone who is motivated by their passion and not money, status or power, I am more inclined to trust them. Perhaps it is the feeling that they are not trying to take anything away from me but rather they are building something great.

88. Show loyalty - a person that demonstrates firm and constant support is usually a person that other people want to trust.

89. Do your research - make an effort to understand your client. The more you get them, the faster they'll think of you as an insider. Your goal is to be invited to the inner circle.

90. Give credit - the more credit you give to others, the more people will trust you. "There is no limit to the good man can do if he doesn't care who gets the credit." - Judson B. Branch

91. Have an opinion - people who never take sides have trouble building trust because they are not willing to take a stand.

92. Don't expect anything in return - help people and don't expect anything in return. You'll be happier for it and giving is always better than receiving.

93. Uphold accountability - trust is not about letting things slide. It's about doing what is best for your client.

94. Never exaggerate - it's tempting to play up the benefits about your products and services but exaggerations never end well. Any form of "truth stretching" is a bad idea if you want to build trust.

95. Make things right - when you make a mistake, in addition to learning from it, you should make it right in some way. At Pret-a-Manger, when they got my order wrong, they gave me my order for free along with a free cup of coffee. I now go twice as often.

96. Don't flatter - insincere compliments are one of the quickest ways to lose rapport and trust with someone.

97. Trust yourself - you can't give what you don't have and you can't get what you don't give (say that 5 times fast).

98. Be fair - treat people fairly. Like a good parent, don't play favorites. Reward and punish accordingly.

99. Help their children - if you have clients who have children, find a way to help their kids. You can give them advice, write a letter of recommendation or give them a job. Your deeds will definitely not be forgotten and you'll find yourself being introduced as a friend of the family.

100. Don't give up - just because someone doesn't trust you now, doesn't mean you can't build it. If what you're doing is not working, try something else. You have 101 things you can do.

101. Be enthusiastic - most people can't fake enthusiasm. When you are enthusiastic about what you do, people are more likely to trust you.

Here is a bonus tip:

102. Lead by example - walk your talk. Ductus exemplo.

So which trust building tips resonated with you? Were there any that I missed?

If you enjoyed this article, please share it with anyone you think might benefit from reading it.

The post 101 Simple Ways to Build Trust appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

No man is an island (quote courtesy of John Donne) ...

... and the most valuable currency among men (and women) is trust.

Trust is why we get up in the morning and do what we do.

Trust is why people get married.

Trust is why you are reading this article right now.

I hope to keep that trust by fulfilling my promise to teach you how to build rapport, the process of gaining trust and understanding, with anyone.

The techniques that I am about to introduce are based on three key ideas about people:

People care deeply about themselves

People want to feel important

People like and trust familiar things

So if you want to build rapport, you should:

Get People to Talk about Themselves

The best conversationalists are usually the ones that never say a word about themselves. They are great at generating the trust building cycle of asking questions, listening actively and giving back what was said. This requires you to be present, which tells the person that you have made them your first priority. Although you can get someone to talk about themselves by rattling off a generic list of questions, this technique is most effective when you have a genuine interest and curiosity in the other person.

Remember Their Names

Nothing is more important to a person than their name. Just think back to the time when someone called you by the wrong name. Taking effort to learn someone's name when you first meet is a real compliment and it makes that person feel important. Click here if you want to learn how to remember names even if you have bad memory.

Match their Body Language, Vocal Variety, Verbal Language, etc

An excellent way to build rapport is by matching the other person's posture, gesture, speech, etc. because the subconscious picks up on and likes familiarity. If the person you are talking with speaks slowly, gestures emphatically and sits cross-legged, you should also speak slowly, gesture strongly and cross your own legs if you want to build rapport.

I was initially hesitant to use this technique for the fear of being accused of mocking the other person but having done it both consciously and subconsciously many times, I have realized that the other person doesn't even notice. When you have excellent rapport with someone, the other person begins to subconsciously match you. You can test the strength of your rapport by changing your body language and observe whether the other person's body language follows yours. When done correctly, this is one of the strongest techniques you can use to build trust.

Take their Reaction as Feedback

You may be doing all the "right" things but for some reason, you just can't seem to connect with the other person. Take this as feedback and not failure which will shift your focus from "why did I fail" to "what should I do now knowing this new piece of information".  Usually you will need to think about what else you can do to show that you are similar to them, care about them and think they are important. On the flip side, when you are successful at building trust, in addition to feeling proud, you should take it as feedback that you are doing something right. Just make sure you are clear what it specifically was that led to your success.

Smile

Giving someone a genuine smile is a great way to put them at ease and to appear approachable and trustworthy. Practice smiling in front of a mirror to see if you are giving the best smile you can give (if you have never done this, go to a mirror or reflective surface and practice). In most situation where you are trying to build rapport, smile and do it often.

No matter what you are trying to achieve in life, gaining trust from other people will be an integral part of your success. I promise if you practice the techniques listed above, you will be able to build rapport with anyone.

The post How to Build Rapport with Anyone appeared first on Embrace Possibility.