11 responses

  1. Glynis Jolly
    October 22, 2012

    Hi Robert. I’ve been reading many posts that all seem to say pretty much the same thing. It was refreshing to read yours. Although the topic is not new, your slant on it was. Very enjoyable and your advice on how to really take respnsibility was helpful..

    • Robert Chen
      October 29, 2012

      Hi Glynis,

      Thank you for reading and for your kind words. I focus on practical advice that I’ve tested using my own life and I find that it resonates with others as well.

  2. tearoomdelights
    October 29, 2012

    I like your attitude, it’s so tempting to wallow in being a victim instead of taking responsibility for our actions. When these kinds of things happen to me, I usually automatically blame someone else and feel very sorry for myself, but I try to remind myself to take responsibility for it and that helps me to feel better. I have control over some parts of my life, if not all of it, and all I can do is try to make the best decisions I can at any one time. Naturally, sometimes I make bad decisions and I wish I could hit ‘undo’ (I often wish life had this button when I spill a cup of tea all over the carpet or something like that), but it’s just life, things do sometimes go wrong. I think the best thing you can do is exactly what you’re advocating, accept that it’s happened and look for the good things in the present. I can imagine breaking your nose just before a trip would get you down, it certainly would if it were me, but you have your trip already planned and you have amazing opportunities coming your way. I know you’ll make the most of them and I hope you have a fantastic time!

    • Robert Chen
      October 29, 2012

      Hi Lorna,

      Thanks for the comment. I used to be a master at making excuses and blaming everyone else when things go wrong but I’ve found that even though it may bring short-term relief, it almost always does long-term harm. I’ve found to take responsibility and to focus on the solutions has always been the fastest way to not only feeling better but also to make the situation better. Let me know if they ever make the “undo” button. I’ll be very interested in getting one.

      Thank you for reading and for your good wishes.

  3. R Hariharan
    January 8, 2013

    Hi Robert,

    Your article is straight forward and has helped me come out of blaming others and feeling self pity……. Wish you all the best.

    • Robert Chen
      January 8, 2013

      I’m glad that this article was able to help you R Hariharan. Happy New Year and good luck!

  4. Angela HicCups
    January 13, 2013

    Hello Robert,

    These articles(especially this one) are truly amazing,I am actually able to understand these! I’ve got to be honest when i say I was easily able to relate to these topics with the personal experiences and the lessons we tend to meet up with. And for that I thank you kindly for highlighting the positive outlooks on things like these, I can never think of anyone who hasn’t had something go wrong in their lives without picturing the DARK CLOUD as you mentioned and the pain of depression.I’m sure glad i found this because i have recently had something that didn’t go the way i planned.I wanted to go to a convention to meet and try to befriend my favorite actor of all time,even though he retired from acting awhile ago,it didn’t stop me from trying to accomplish what i thought would be a big change in my usual actions. So, when i went on their website to check in on their guest list, he appeared to have cancelled…I was devastated when i found out, i could hardly bare the tears…That is when i started getting angry at myself,the workers at the convention,and god which i terribly regret doing..i just couldn’t help but to think someone was laughing at me which made me angrier and much more sensitive about the way i acted, it still hurts me to think about it.I don’t know what final task i would do if i were to choose to give up.Anyway thank you again.

    • Robert Chen
      January 14, 2013

      Hi Angela,

      Thank you for your comment. What has really helped me to overcome situations that don’t go my way is to understand that it is not personal. Things happen for many reason but rarely if ever does it happen to spite us. It has worked for me so far. I wish you the best of luck.

  5. Robert Fernandez
    April 17, 2014

    A more effective perception of mistakes rather than “when things go wrong,” is by learning to perceive them as great opportunities presented by life in order to increase strength whether emotional and/or physical.

    • Robert Chen
      April 24, 2014

      Agreed: when things go wrong = opportunities for growth

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