After overcoming the initial jitters of zero visibility and irrational shark attack fears, I aimed for a building on the horizon and started my freestyle stroke, breathing every two strokes. This is where I learned firsthand why sighting — lifting my head to check my course — is so crucial.

I'd tried sighting a few times in the pool, but it always seemed to mess up my stroke rhythm. Since I felt I was swimming straight and wanted to cover more distance smoothly, I didn't sight until about ten minutes in. When I finally did, I was shocked at how off course I was. I had wasted a lot of time and energy not making much progress. I ended up needing to sight every few stokes just to stay somewhat on track.

Reflecting on this, I saw a parallel with pursuing goals in life.

My Takeaway: Sight Often to Avoid the Illusion of Progress

In both swimming and life, it's surprisingly easy to get caught up in immediate tasks that we lose sight of our true goal. Are your efforts directed towards reaching your objectives or are you just so busy that you don't realize that you're swimming off course? Are you aware of the currents in your life that may be pushing you unexpectedly sideways and adjusting early enough to ensure you're still on track?

Sighting in open water involves briefly lifting your head out of the water to check your alignment with a distant marker. It's a deliberate act that ensures you're heading in the right direction. Similarly, in life, we need moments of reflection and assessment. Regularly stepping back to evaluate our progress against our long-term goals helps us course-correct before we drift too far off course.

Take a moment to sight right now. Look at the emails in your inbox or check the meetings on your calendar this week, and ask yourself whether or not what you're doing is leading you to where you want to go. Just as in swimming, regular sighting can keep you on track, ensuring you reach your true destination in the shortest possible way.

The post Navigating Life’s Currents: One Important Lesson from Open Water Swimming appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

I mean, I've always thought about writing a book but to actually do it feels a bit surreal.

Looking at the stacks of marked-up drafts all over my office, it feels great to be at the end of what was otherwise a grueling journey. There were many times when I wanted to just publish it as is and get it over with but fortunately I decided to follow the advice of legendary writers, William Zinsser and Stephen King, to re-write it over and over again. Now I have a piece of work that I'm proud of.

During this ordeal, I learned a few great lessons firsthand that I now apply to navigate other aspects of my life:

Things Come Up

No matter how perfect you think your plan is, things will come up (at least they did for me).

Despite the imperfection of plans, it's still worthwhile to plan. I wouldn't have finished writing my book if I had no plan. The process of planning is oftentimes more important than the plan itself because it forces you to think more deliberately about what can happen. The reason plans don't work out perfectly is because you don't have information about the future. There is no way to predict or anticipate everything that might happen. Planning is an educated guess about the future. That means when setting deadlines, you may want to account for uncertainty because of what you don't know.

What I will do next time: Recognize what I don't know and add more buffer time in my plans. Spend less time trying to perfect my plan once I've considered most of the common obstacles. If I miss a deadline, instead of wasting energy being hard on myself, I will think about what factors I failed to consider that affected my plan and use that information for future plans.

Writing is About Re-Writing

When I wrote this book, there were sections where I kept trying to make it perfect the first time around. This process to refine upfront caused me to be mired in the details too early in the process. I would change the sentence structure, the words I used, and the examples. These early revisions took a lot of my time and it wasn't until I remembered that writing well is really about re-writing that I allowed myself to finish a chapter first before going back to do some editing.

The first time you do anything is usually the scariest. You don't really know how you'll do or what to expect. There is one thing you can be certain about:

Your first time is typically your worst time ...

... and it only gets better and better after that.

If you put too much emphasis on getting it perfect the first time around, you'll overwork, stress, and disappoint yourself. Many people shy away from trying new things because they can't get over the anxiety of doing something for the first time. I didn't write this book two years ago because of this anxiety. I now understand that to achieve a goal, the real work is in starting (on a daily basis) to work towards that goal. So to finish, you just need to get started enough times.

Don't allow yourself to be paralyzed by the thought of being a total beginner. Life is about taking action. If you become paralyzed because you're not sure how things will turn out, you may end up not achieving what you want in life.

What I will do next time: Remind myself that there is no mandate requiring my work to be perfect the first time around and the first time will always be my worst. Knowing this, I will take action more quickly to get good feedback for tweaking my plan and improving my skills. I will stay flexible to change my plan according to the feedback I get and remain resilient to continue on even when other things get in the way.

Goals Work

If I didn't set a goal last year to write a book. I would not have written this book. When I first set the goal, I didn't know how to write a book, I just knew that I wanted to do it. Part of the process was learning how to do it and then doing it.

The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook was not only a result of following my goal to completion, it was also my instruction manual for achieving this goal. While writing this book, I applied the steps from this book to test the effectiveness of my ideas. What better way to confirm that my knowledge is not only logical in theory but also practical and actionable. I found the section on overcoming barriers that inevitably show up especially helpful in real life.

What I will do next time: Continue to set goals and to follow and refine the steps in my book to get even more results in my life. When setting a goal, I'll remember not to get too hung up on HOW I would achieve my goal and trust that once I want a goal, it's a matter of time and effort before I achieve it. Also, I will dream bigger. I've already raised the stakes when I decided to make my next goal a trip around the world which is going to happen by the end of this year. It's crazy how well goals work.

If you don't have a goal now, I recommend that you stop what you're doing and choose something you want and set it as your goal. If you have a hard time choosing a goal, set up a small one (e.g. waking up 5 minutes earlier, deciding to read a book within a year, etc.) and get started now. The key is to start taking action immediately.

Life waits for no one and neither should you. Start doing what you want to do.

(This article is a repost from the Embrace Possibility newsletter)

Photo by Andy Smith

The post What I Learned Writing My First Book appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

... looking back.

Reflect on 2013 - what were the major highlights and disappointments?

Take time to celebrate both your successes and failures.  Successes confirm that your skills and plan were on point.  Failures identify opportunities for growth and invite flexibility in your plan.  This year, I've achieved some of my goals, changed a few others and failed at a good bunch.

If you're hitting all of your goals, you may be having an awesome year or it might be a sign that you've set the bar too low.  If you're hitting none of your goals, then the goals you've set might be slightly unrealistic.  Find the sweet spot on the outer edge of your comfort zone.  This is the place where you begin to grow.  Keep pushing your limits.

After you've reviewed and celebrated 2013, spend time ...

... projecting forward.

Now that you have another year's worth of knowledge and experience, what do you want 2014 to look like?

What do you hope to accomplish?  What do you want to stop doing?  How are your 2014 goals aligned with your personal mission in life?

Take this time to mentally visualize what you want your next year to look like.  Get specific and observe how you are going to execute your plan and note the sacrifices you'll be making to get you there.

As you move from the past to the future, don't forget the importance of ...

... staying present.

Acknowledge that you're consciously taking the time to analyze your past and plan your future.  If you are not present during this process, you put yourself at risk.

It's easy to reminisce for too long - patting yourself on the back for your accomplishments or kicking yourself for what you didn't do.  At the same time, it can be enticing to stay in the future - fueled by the euphoria of dreams or the paralysis of worry.

To prevent this, set trip wires for yourself to stay present.  This may be in the form of regularly scheduled meditation or a periodic alarm that will remind you to be aware of what is happening in the moment.

Whether you believe it or not, you've had a great year being you.  You've just learned another year's worth of valuable information about yourself.  If you don't feel that way, make it a goal in 2014 to be more self observant throughout the year.  Note what you're doing and what you're not doing that gives you the results you like and continuing experimenting to find the best strategies that work for you.

Share with us your 2014 goals in the comment section below.  It'll be a good way to keep yourself accountable and inspire others.  Also, you can review your goals periodically to see how you're doing.

Thank you for taking this journey with me this past year.

Have a happy new year!

The post Look Back, Project Forward, and Stay Present appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

“I just want my kids to be happy”

In the United States Declaration of Independence, the unalienable rights of man are:

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”

Look deeply at what you really want in life, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out to be:

happiness

Happiness is one of those terms that gets thrown around quite often. Everybody thinks they can define it but few people can explain exactly what it is or tell you specifically how to be happier than you are now.

You shouldn't take my word for it - Ask someone next to you what happiness is. Then ask them how you can be happier.

If you're satisfied with their answer then stop reading and act on their advice right away. If they start looking up, down or around and telling you that they'll know it when they see it, share this article with them and read on together.

So what is happiness and how can we be happier than we are now?

I've read a number of books and articles on happiness and the one that best matches reality is described in Flourish by Martin Seligman. He provides 5 pillars that make up the framework for what most people call happiness (he refers to it as "well-being"). When you know what these pillars of happiness are, you can specifically strengthen each one to increase your own happiness.

Feel Positive Emotions

This is what most people think of when they think about being happy. Feelings such as joy, optimism, hope, delight, satisfaction, appreciation ... you get the point. Positive emotions are manifested physically by the ever popular smile (with crows feet of course).

But happiness is more than just feelings.

An olympic athlete that trains hard every day is probably not experiencing positive emotions during practice. It is not until he wins the gold medal that he displays his happy feelings. Positive feelings usually come AFTER a lot of hard work, not during.

Think of a time when you were practicing for something (a performance, a competition, an assignment, etc.). Really bring yourself back to that moment when you were just repeatedly doing the same thing over and over with mixed results. Would you say you felt happy during that practice? Probably not but at the same time you did experience something "good". The "good" that you experienced is one of the other pillars of happiness.

Before we explore the other pillars, let's look at how we can increase positive emotions in your life.

Emotions come and go and can be triggered by your memories of the past, the circumstances of the present and your expectations for the future. Unless you're great at meditating (self-control of the mind), it's very difficult to control your thoughts and emotions. So how do you experience positive emotion at will?

Adopt the physical aspects of positive emotions - smiling, acting energetically and looking at the bright side of everything.

The body and mind are connected and they take turns leading each other. Try feeling happy while frowning or depressed when you put on a genuine smile. Remember: focus on smiling with crow's feet. Don't make room for "This is not working" to creep in. Your conscious mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

Another way to feel good right away is to do something kind for someone not expecting it. (Try it before you doubt it.)

If you want to learn other exercises to raise happiness, check out Flourish and The Happiness Project.

So if feeling happy is not the only determinant of happiness, what are the others?

Engage Yourself

Have you ever lost track of time because you were so absorbed in an activity?

You were so focused on the activity that you couldn't recall your thoughts or feelings?

Thinking back, did time seem to stand still yet pass quickly?

If so, then you were also probably happy.

When you are engaged in what you are doing, you experience happiness.

Sports fans call this being "in the zone" - a magical place where everything you do is right.

For many people, being engaged is their happy place. They don't need to be smiling or feeling any positive emotions. They just recognize that they are happy.

So how can you be more engaged in life?

• Identify your preferred strength by taking the Values in Action Strengths Test at Authentic Happiness for free
• Put your strengths revealed to the test by gauging how excited and enthusiastic you are when using the test
• If you're still not sure, you may want to pay someone to assess you with an aptitude test
• Once you confirm your top strengths (the ones that give you the most energy and excitement), find new and more frequent ways to use it

Build Great Relationships

Research and experience show that connecting with others and building and keeping strong bonds make people happy. Our sense of belonging is a key indicator of our happiness. We all want to belong to a group and our happiness correlates with our status within that group. Think about your happiness level the last time you got accepted to a group you really wanted to join (your company, a sports team, a certain club).

In this age of social media, it's easy to have a lot of "friends" and "connections". As with all things, quality is more important than quantity. A good way to test quality is to make a list of people you feel comfortable calling at 3 o'clock in the morning knowing they'll be genuinely interested in helping you out.

The more names you have on that list the better. If you're not sure whether a friend of yours makes that list, you can always test your results by calling them at 3 am. Don't be surprised if your list gets shorter after you explain to them you were only "testing" them.

Build stronger relationships by giving without keeping score. Listen to what people want and find ways to help them get it. Also, be there for them if they call you at 3am.

That's it.

Live with Meaning

Many people see life as a zero-sum game and they live life accordingly. They see someone else's fortune and luck as taking away from their own fortune and luck. Not surprisingly, people who feel this way are suspicious and selfish. They also tend to be less happy even if they are already well-off.

If you want to be happy, give your life meaning by serving or belonging to something bigger than yourself. Join a cause you believe in and get involved.

Most wealthy and successful people become heavily involved with philanthropy in the second half of their lives. They give their time and money for the greater good of others. The desire for meaning is what makes people go through beatings and arrests as activists. Volunteers that give up paid opportunities are no less noble. No matter the group, they all do it to benefit someone other than themselves. 

One word of caution on being selfless. Don't overdo it. When you sacrifice yourself, you burden those who care about you because not only will they worry, they will eventually be forced to care for you.

Here is some life wisdom from the in-flight safety program:

Put on your own oxygen mask first, then help those around you.

Achieve

"It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game."

This is an excellent example of good intentions gone wrong.

If you want someone to be happy, tell them to win because the pursuit of winning, success, mastery and achievement for its own sake makes people happy.

This is why you have happy workaholics. As long as they keep moving up, they'll put up with almost anything. It is for this same reason that those who hit the glass ceiling, quickly become dissatisfied with their lives especially if they've sacrificed the other pillars of happiness.

So what can you do to strengthen this last pillar?

Do your best always.

Strive for excellence.

Practice Deliberately.

Achievement = Skill x Effort

Skill is something you have and can be further developed but it is not something you do. Fortunately, you can control your effort which will boost your achievement by multiples.

So there you have it. The pieces that make up happiness.

So what can you do to be happier?

Step 1 - Rate your own happiness using the five pillars

1. How often do you FEEL happy?
2. When was the last time you were "in the zone"?
3. How many people will be there for you at three in the morning?
4. What are you doing for the greater good?
5. How successful are you?

Step 2 - Strengthen each pillar

1. Smile often and do kind things for people who don't expect it (Positive Emotion)
2. Identify your strengths and find ways to use your strengths more often in your life (Engagement)
3. Build stronger relationship by giving to others without keeping score (Relationships)
4. Think abundance and find ways to do something that benefits the greater good (Meaning)
5. Win. Master something. Be a success. You can achieve these goals through deliberate practice (Achievement)

Step 3 - Balance each pillar

How do your pillars compare with each other? Is one pillar longer than the rest?

Are you someone who is constantly in a good mood but not achieving much? Are you a workaholic who doesn't have many quality relationships? How much time do you devote to yourself? How much time do you dedicate to a cause bigger than yourself?

If you don't want your happiness to suddenly fall over, balance the five pillars. If one of the pillars gets damaged, the other four can still support it.

What are some techniques that you use to increase your happiness?

What other pillars do you think are important for happiness?

What will you do today to be happier?

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”

- Dalai Lama XIV

Share this article with someone you are looking to build a relationship with. Let them know they can count on you to pick up the phone at 3 in the morning for them.

The post How to Be Happier Today Than You Were Yesterday appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

If you haven't read Part 1 - Setting Proper Goals or Part 2 - Creating an Effective Plan or both, I recommend that you read them before moving on.

By now, you should have a proper goal set and a plan to achieve that goal. If you don't, I encourage you to take some time do that now.

With your properly set goal and well thought out plan, you are finally at the point where your dreams will become reality but before you get what you want, there is one thing you must do:

Take Action

This is both simple and difficult. Simple because you just follow your plan. Difficult because so many things get in the way. The key thing to remember is without action, your dreams will stay dreams. Even though thoughts, ideas and plans are necessary, without doing anything, you would not realize your dream. Your ideas will remain ideas and your plans will remain plans.

So what can possibly get in the way between you and your goals:

Not Having Enough Time

You already have a busy schedule. Work is unpredictable and sometimes it is just too tiring to work on your goals after a long day's work.

How can anyone blame you for wanting to just relax?

Rest is important right?

If you set a goal that is relevant, broke your goal down to daily tasks and tested your plan's feasibility, you really shouldn't be having this problem.

If you do have this problem, there is one fix:

Make Time for Your Plan

Carve out a specific time each day to work on your plan. Make sure to give yourself some extra time. In the beginning, take the energy you would normally spend to make excuses and channel it into doing your plan at the specified time. Once you've built the good habit, things become easier.

Waiting for the Right Time

It's never going to be the right time. Get over it.

Be flexible enough to make adjustments along the way. Think homing missile.

This also goes for waiting for the right people.

Ready, Fire, Aim.

Procrastinating

"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week." -Spanish Proverb

For some reason, it's easy for us to put things off until tomorrow. For every reason to do something now, I can come up with ten reasons why I should do it later. Maybe it's laziness that stems from a incompetence or stress from being overwhelmed by uncertainty but whatever the reason, procrastination is the enemy of execution.

A nice fix against procrastination is:

Just getting up and doing it. (The long version of the Nike slogan)

For those interested in going in-depth into the reasons for procrastination and how to overcome it, check out Steve Pavlina's article. For a shorter and more hands-on guide, check out The 8 Most Practical Ways to Stop Procrastinating.

Not Knowing What to Do First

Different tasks take different priorities at different times.

Be clear on what should be done FIRST and do that thing FIRST.

As you are executing your plan, you may find that you lose sight of what your top priority is. When that happens, think about the outcome you want to achieve and make sure that your current daily task reflect the most important actions that will help achieve that outcome. If you have trouble deciding, try out one of these prioritization methods. For those of you find it hard to prioritize because everything seems important, check out this lifehacker article.

Losing Interest

How many dreams have been abandoned because interest was lost during execution?

It is always exciting to think about the possibilities of achieving your goals and the rewards after you fulfill your dreams but what should you do when you begin to get bored before you reach the finish line?

Revisit Your WHY Often Through Mental Rehearsal.

When you set your goals, you made sure that your goal was relevant to your vision and purpose. Mental rehearse what it will be like to achieve your goal. Engage all the senses. What will you see? hear? feel?

Now check to make sure that you are doing the task that will have the biggest impact in achieving that vivid outcome. Extrapolate your action into the future. Will you get what you want if you keep doing what you're doing?

Another point to keep in mind is that some people lose interest when they begin to lose faith. When they don't think they can achieve their goals, their interests wanes. If you are having a faith issue, read How to Always Achieve Your Goals.

A Bonus!

I mentioned this in Part One already but it is worth emphasizing.

The difference that is going to make all the difference is ...

... get a pen and paper ready because this is important ...

Tracking Your Progress in Writing

In addition to tracking your daily progress (here is a free online habit tracker), ask yourself on a weekly basis:

1. Am I able to work towards my goal daily? If not, what is getting in my way?

2. Is the goal still relevant to my vision and purpose? How is it relevant? Is it still the most impactful thing I can be doing to realize my vision?

3. Am I getting the outcome that I want from completing this goal?

Write those answers down.

Once you reach your goal (notice that I use "once" and not "if"), reward yourself.

Take time to recognize and appreciate yourself for going for and getting what you want.

This memory can serve to motivate you in future endeavors. Take time to review your lessons learned so you can achieve future goals more effectively.

You now have the basic framework you need to turn your dreams into reality and get anything that you want. Feel free to share your goals, plans and progress. I would love to hear how you do.

I hope you enjoyed this series!

The post Focused Execution – How to Turn Dreams into Reality – Part 3 appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

"Don't worry. Be happy."

Just four words with two simple suggestions.

Yet, it's easier said than done.

Why is that?

Think about it for a few seconds before reading on.

"Don't worry. Be happy."

Did you come up with anything?

If not, don't worry. It's not an easy question.

One of the main reasons we find it hard to apply this simple phrase is because we're not really sure how to do it. How do we stop worrying? What does it mean to be happy? Should I smile?

If it is so difficult to apply, why do we nod our head in understanding and agreement when people tell us not to worry? Instead, we should look at our well-intentioned friend (or stranger) in the eye and ask sincerely, "How do I stop worrying?".

Of course, that question will likely be met with confused and concerned faces. Before you alarm anyone, perhaps you can glean some helpful tips from this article. Before we go into those tips, let's analyze what worrying really is.

Scenario: You have to give a big presentation tomorrow and you are worried that you will make a mistake and embarrass yourself.

When you worry, you basically do three things:

1. You mentally create a negative scenario of the future - you vividly imagine forgetting what you wanted to say and doing poorly on your presentation. You picture the audience on their phones or walking out of the room.
2. You convince yourself that this situation is possible - you truly believe that the mental image you just created can really happen.
3. You feel all the negative emotions as you anticipate the negative outcome - you feel anxiety and fear over what you believe you will experience in the future even though it hasn't happened.

Think of a situation that worries you and see if you go through the three steps outlined above. The reason worrying affects us so strongly is because:

Our mind cannot distinguish between something that we vividly imagined and our real experience.

Research has shown that our memories are merely reconstructions of our experience. When you imagine in detail a negative outcome, you feel the emotions associated with that outcome.

One effective way to deal with worrying is to ignore it altogether. Recognize it for what it is - a made-up belief that a negative scenario may happen and a replaying of that scenario in a way that evokes the negative emotions associated with it. Recognize that nothing has happened yet and there is no reason to respond and put yourself in a state of anxiety.

Having understood the components of worry, take it one step further, and harness the power of worry for good. Just change the formula by ...

Exchanging the negative future scenario for a positive future scenario.

So let's review what that means in terms of our scenario and the three steps:

1. You mentally create a POSITIVE scenario of the future - you vividly imagine performing exceptionally well on the presentation and getting both recognition and appreciation from your boss and peers.
2. You convince yourself that this situation is possible - you truly believe that the mental image you just created can really happen.
3. You feel all the positive emotions as you anticipate the positive outcome - you feel confidence and faith over what you believe you will experience in the future even though it hasn't happened.

There is nothing wrong with considering possible risks in the future. Scenario planning allows us to be proactive and create contingencies that can save us from danger. What is less helpful is spending your time and energy worrying and feeling the negative emotions associated with a potential future that hasn't happened yet.

The next time you find yourself worrying:

• Recognize immediately that the negative outcome has not happened and it is not more likely to happen than a positive outcome.
• Think of the best possible future outcome.
• Mentally rehearse the future outcome vividly.
• Allow yourself to feel the positive emotions associated with truly believing the positive future outcome is possible.

Here is an example of using this method if you are single and worried about finding someone:

1. Recognize that being alone for the rest of your life is just as likely to happen as finding someone.
2. Imagine finding the perfect partner and vividly rehearse this future outcome as if it was going to happen. What do you see? What do you hear? How do you feel?
3. Know that this positive future outcome is possible and allow yourself to feel the positive emotions that come from this realization.
4. Bonus: To bring your positive outcome to life, channel the positive emotions from this exercise to do something productive towards achieving your outcome. I would start by setting a proper goal to find the perfect partner.

We just covered the "Don't worry" part. How about "Be happy"?

That's a little easier. Smiling is a great start. Following your passion will keep it going.

If you enjoyed this article, share it with others. Let me know in the comment section if you were able to successfully worry in a good way.

The post How to Worry in a Good Way appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

Now that you have your specific goal that is relevant to your passion, stated in the positive with a definite deadline and written in a place where it is visible every day, it's time to develop a plan of action.

Here are the steps for creating an effective plan to achieve your goals:

Step 1 - Mind the Gap

Pardon the pun but the first step for turning your dreams into reality is to understand your current situation and the gap between where you are and where you want to be. During this step you want to explore and brainstorm all the different possible paths that go from where you are now to your destination.

Example: If my goal is to be healthy by losing 20 lbs in 3 months, there are many ways I can go about it. I can choose any one of the countless weight-loss methods out there (Weight Watchers, Slim-Fast, etc.), hire a personal trainer and nutritionist or decide to create a custom regimen based on my research from the internet.

Step 2 - Choose the Best Path (for You)

In most cases, it is not possible nor is it efficient to try all the different ways to achieve your goal so you need to choose one method. Your choice will depend on your resources (time, money, environment, etc.) and the nature of your goal. My general advice is to choose the path that will give you the best "bang for the buck" (most benefit with the least effort).

Example: If money is an issue, hiring a personal trainer will be out of the questions and I will most likely create a custom diet and exercise program based on my research done on the internet and through books borrowed from the library.

Step 3 - Create Daily Milestones

Now that a path has been decided, it is necessary to break down your goal into smaller chunks. What will you do on a monthly, weekly and daily basis to achieve your goal? The key is to clearly define what you will do every day to get closer to your goal.

Another benefit to breaking down our goal into smaller pieces is that we can test the feasibility of our deadline. If after breaking down our goal into daily tasks, we find that it is too difficult to consistently do on a daily basis, it may be better to extend the deadline date. If the timeline is feasible, then we know by doing the defined daily action, we will achieve our goal. Of course, unexpected things will happen so it is important to factor in some "extra" time just in case.

One thing to keep in mind when breaking down your large goal into smaller ones is that the proper goal setting rules apply for both the large goal and the smaller goals.

Example: If I decide that I will create a custom diet and exercise routine for myself to lose 20 lbs in 3 months, I will break down those 3 months first into weekly tasks. Week 1 may be to research and create an exercise and nutrition plan. Week 2 may be to start plan and track results every 3 days. Then I will further break down my weekly tasks into daily tasks. I may plan that on Day 1 of Week 1, I will research effective exercise routines that I can do at home. Day 2 of Week 1 may be to learn more about diet and weight loss from the internet. I will continue to break down all the bigger weekly tasks into smaller daily ones which include the days I will rest.

Step 4 - Review and Finalize Plan

Once you've broken down your goal into daily milestones, review your plan to make sure you can sustain it by considering possible obstacles. Once you've factored in ways to handle unexpected difficulties, you are ready to finalize the plan. The plan does not have to be perfect at this time and it will most likely change as you execute the plan. The important thing is to remember to be flexible, one of the 30 Qualities that Make Ordinary People Extraordinary.

Example: I've finished breaking down my goal to lose 20 lbs into my daily tasks for the next three months and I review the plan to make sure that each daily task is achievable and that the plan is flexible enough to handle unexpected distractions such as working late (no time to exercise) or going to group celebrations (high risk of overeating).

Most people begin to execute their plan after finishing Step 4 and there is nothing wrong with that but there is one thing you can do that can dramatically increase your chances for success. If you want to make sure you achieve your goal, I highly recommend that you include step 5.

Step 5 - Design an Accountability System

When you have a well-formed goal and a thorough plan, all you need to do is follow through. Unfortunately, following through is one of the toughest parts of achieving your goal. Think of all the obese people in America who want to lose weight, have all the knowledge and resources to do so but yet still remain obese.

Most people find ways to keep themselves accountable only after they've failed to execute their plan. Why wait until you are in trouble? Why not build accountability into your plan?

So how do you do that?

Here are three ways to build accountability:

1. Write down your daily tasks on a calendar and review the calendar daily to make sure you have finished your task.
2. Find an accountability partner or support group that you can announce your goal to and ask for their help to keep you accountable on a daily basis.
3. Put your money where your mouth is and create a Commitment Contract on StickK where you place a monetary wager on your own success. If you lose, the money goes to charity. You can even set it to go to a charity that you dislike to further motivate you.

So if you all read the first article in this series, you should all have your own properly set goal. Let's apply what you learned in this article to that goal.

1. Assess your current situation and explore the different ways you can achieve your specific goal.

2. Choose the method that best fits your resources and situation.

3. Break down your goal into daily tasks. Start with what you want to achieve each month leading up to your desired goal. Then break up those monthly milestones into weekly goals which you will then breakdown into daily tasks.

4. Review and make sure you have taken into account things that may go wrong when you execute your plan and to factor in a contingency plan for those situations. When everything meets your satisfaction, finalize the plan knowing that it will probably change in the future.

5. Make yourself accountable by creating a daily goal tracker for yourself and by enlisting the help of an individual or group that you will have frequent contact with to keep you accountable for your plan. If you want to take it one step further, create a commitment contract on stickk.com.

Let me know what you think about this series so far. I'm interested to hear about your plans and any other tips you have for creating an effective plan to reach your goals.

In the next and last article of this series, we will discuss strategies for successful and focused execution and what happens once you achieve your goal. If you follow all the steps in this series, achieving your dreams will not only be possible but inevitable.

The post Creating an Effective Plan – How to Turn Dreams Into Reality – Part 2 appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

But why don't we pursue them?

Why do we go on doing what we don't like to do just because we're supposed to?

Why don't we do what we really want like travel the world, start our own business or write that book we've tried to find time for?

Is it because it's not realistic, practical or feasible?

The short answer is ...

... no.

The long answer is no, but we are frozen by doubt in our abilities and we fear the consequences of failing and being wrong.

If you are not convinced that you can achieve your dream, I recommend that you take 5 minutes to empower yourself forever and then continue reading.

If you are afraid of risk, then you should also read this short article on why it is risky to be stable.

When you are ready to turn your dreams into reality, read on.

Most people fail to achieve their dreams because of four reasons:

1. They don't believe they can (If you took those 5 minutes to empower yourself earlier, you should be ok.)

2. They set poor goals

3. They don't have a plan

4. They don't execute their plan

Reason 2 is the focus of this part. Reason 3 and 4 will be addressed in later parts of this series.

So how do you set proper goals?

Be Specific

Your goal must be clear and more importantly measurable. How will you know when you've reached your goal? Engage all your senses. What are you going to see when you've reached your goal? How will you feel? What will you hear? You should be able to vividly imagine yourself reaching this goal. When setting goals, it is more important to focus on WHAT you want and not HOW you are going to get it.

State in the Positive

If you've ever told yourself not to screw up but you ended up screwing up anyway, then you know why you should state your goals in the positive. Our subconscious has problems recognizing the word "don't" and that's why "Don't Panic!" is the same as "Panic!". Whether you believe in the subconscious or not, it is more beneficial to you to set a goal like "I want to make money in my investments" as opposed to "I don't want to lose money in my investments". For more on this topic, check out Why Telling Yourself to Stop Bad Habits Never Work.

Make It Relevant

Make sure your goal is aligned with your purpose and passion. When your goal is relevant it becomes easier to stick to your goals. An effective method I learned from Tony Robbins is to first understand WHY you want to achieve your goal and then associate reaching your goal with intense pleasure and not reaching your goal with intense pain. This towards and away from motivation really works wonders.

Set a Deadline

When you set a deadline, a dream becomes a goal. To effectively achieve your goal, it is important to break down your goal into smaller chunks where each chunk can be finished within one week. For example, if your dream was to visit Nepal within one year, your chunks would be to research flights and hotel in Nepal, calculate how much you need to save per month, apply for a visa, etc.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with one step."

- Lao Tzu

Make Sure Its Attainable

Any goal is achievable if given enough time. With that said, make sure that your goal is attainable within the time restriction that you've set. The goal should be a "reach". It should not be so easy where success is guaranteed without much work but it should also not be too difficult where you are overwhelmed and success is borderline impossible.

There is one more thing you need to do that is vital to achieving your goal ...

... and I am not referring to How to Always Achieve Your Goals (although it is worth reading if you haven't done so already)

The one thing you MUST do that will make all the difference is ...

Writing Your Goal Down

I wish I could show you statistics for goals achieved when comparing those who write their goals down and those that don't because I am sure it would be staggering.

Before you do anything else and if you haven't already, I strongly encourage you to set a proper goal right now. It'll take at 3-5 minutes.

Just follow these simple steps:

1. Think of one thing you really want to achieve within one year.

2. Make sure it is specific, stated in the positive and measurable. How will you know that you've achieved it? How will you measure it?

3. Write down WHY you want to achieve this goal and make sure you understand how it fits in your life's purpose. Clearly list the pleasure you'll receive from attaining your goal and the pain you'll get if you don't achieve it.

4. Set a reasonable deadline for achieving your goal.

5. WRITE DOWN your specific goal, why you're going for this goal in particular and when you expect to achieve it. Keep it where it is visible every day.

6. You now have a properly set goal. All you have to do is create an effective plan (Part 2) then successfully execute (Part 3).

To help you move one step closer to your dream, I will review your goal to make sure it is a proper goal. All you have to do is share your goal in the comments section.

The post Proper Goal Setting – How to Turn Dreams Into Reality – Part 1 appeared first on Embrace Possibility.

Success comes in many ways and forms. What's interesting is that most successful people have very similar qualities.

When I read lists such as this one, I want to see how I stack up against it. It feels good when I recognize the qualities of success in myself. For the qualities that I don't have, lists like these tell me what I need to work on.

I have enjoyed and benefited much from these types of lists and that's why I decided to organize all my research, observations, and experience and compile this comprehensive list.

If you want to achieve your life's dream and be wildly successful, you need to model yourself after people who are living their dream. The more qualities you have in common, the higher your chances for being wildly successful.

"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny."

- Tryon Edwards

We all start out in life as being quite ordinary and many remain that way. The few who have become extraordinary have these qualities (no specific order):

1. Definite Aim, Vision and Purpose - Successful people constantly seek clarity in their lives. They know what they want and they follow their own dream. Vague desires and beliefs lead to vague outcomes. It is this sense of direction that gives them the staying power to stick to their goals and achieve their dreams.

2. Expertise and Excellence - No matter what they pursue, they become the best in their field. There is no job too small and successful people strive for excellence. They pursue mastery and understand that money is a by-product of the value they offer.

3. Focused - People who experience success know how to concentrate. They realize that they cannot do everything and they focus on the activities that will give them the highest return on the goals they want to achieve. They don't believe in the hype of multi-tasking and they know that the fastest way to finish your to-do's is doing them one at a time.

4. Positive Attitude and Perseverance - Extraordinary people have realistic optimism. Realistic because they take action and optimistic because no matter what the result may be, they believe their success is inevitable. They believe that like a child learning to walk, they need to take action first and then modify the action according to the feedback that they get. This positive attitude allows them to persevere and be resilient when things don't go their way.

5. Flexible - One misconception that ordinary people have about persevering is staying the course no matter what. This is true only if the reason for pursuing your goal is still valid. Most successful people achieved success doing something different from what they initially intended to do (Example: Steve Jobs started with computers, went into the animation, and really made his comeback with the iPod). This makes sense because the world is always changing and they know a lot more now than when they started. Successful people know that if their reasons for doing what they are doing changes, there is no point to continue.

6. Masters of Time - Successful people are successful because they get a lot done. The only way to do that is by making the most out of the allotted 24 hours we all get. Extraordinary people value their time and see the direct connection between how they spend their time and their energy. They are usually always on time and "train" those that deal with them to respect their schedule by implementing strict start and end times for meetings.

7. Strong Communicators - People who can communicate effectively excel in life. Strong communicators understand that just because people speak English (or the dominant language in your country), it does not mean they understand each other. What makes them effective is that they are clear about and sensitive to the outcome they want to get from their communication and are flexible in their method of communication to achieve their outcome. They are experts at building rapport and separate what is being said from the meaning they put into what is being said.

8. Brave - We've all heard the phrase "No risk. No reward." but how many of us really take the risk necessary to get the reward we want? Not many but for those who do, they are the ones who make it and become successful. Successful people have the courage to begin AND the courage to continue. They are willing to not only bet but go "all in" on themselves. They are not afraid to burn bridges if it means moving forward.

9. Givers - Successful people are generous givers. They know and are convinced of the "secret" that the more you give, the more you receive as long as you are genuine about your gifts. They operate on the principle embodied by Zig Ziglar's quote, "You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want." If you haven't tapped into this secret, you should get started right away. Money isn't the only thing you can give. You can give time, expertise, space, etc. Look for ways to open doors for people.

10. High Self-Esteem - Extraordinary people believe they deserve their success and know that they can do anything they set their mind to. They understand that a mistake is something that they do and not who they are. They also monitor the warning signs of low self-esteem to ensure they always keep a positive self-image of themselves. They realize that self-esteem is a state of mind and choosing to have high self-esteem is much more useful than choosing to have low self-esteem.

16. Self Acceptance - Polonius had it exactly right when he said: "To thine own self be true". People who are successful don't pretend to be something they are not. This allows them to express their creativity freely and not worry about hiding who they really are. The best way to accept yourself is to genuinely appreciate and accept others. If you tend to judge other people, you're probably not very accepting of yourself either. The worse type of rejection is self-rejection.

17. Big Dreams - I have yet to read a biography of a successful person who didn't have grand dreams for what they would accomplish. Sir Richard Branson, Walt Disney, and Sam Walton all had big dreams and for the most part, achieved more than they originally imagined. This is one of the reasons they became successful. They are not afraid to dream big and then go for it. If you want to know whether someone will be successful, ask them about their dreams. If they sound plausible, then they are not dreaming big enough.

18. Well Rounded and Balanced - Truly successful people strive to be successful in all aspects of their lives. They live healthy lives, become financially independent, nurture meaningful relationships, develop personal mastery, and accomplish their professional goals. They know that sacrificing one key area to achieve another will not help them maximize their true potential. It is hard to be your best and to contribute when you have to worry about how you are going to pay the rent.

19. Excellent Network - Successful people understand the importance of relationships and how it is one of the most important factors in achieving your goals. They also realize that the best way to build a great network is to give help to others first with no expectation of reward. Those who constantly take without giving usually do very poorly on building a solid network.

20. Enthusiastic - A sure sign of someone extraordinary is the enthusiasm they have about their passion and their life. They wake up in the morning excited about their day because they know it is going to bring them one step closer to achieving their dream. Successful people tend to be leaders because others are attracted to their enthusiasm and become followers hoping to experience the same excitement and energy.

21. Admits Mistakes - There are two things you can do to guarantee that you will NOT be successful in the future: Blaming Others and Making Excuses. When you do these two things, you give up both your responsibility and power. When something goes wrong and you blame other people or make excuses, you are clearly stating that you have no power in this situation and things are happening to you and not because of you. Great people admit when they are wrong so they can focus on the solution and not waste energy finding a scapegoat. Check out what Albert Einstein can teach us about setbacks.

22. Mindset of Abundance - Successful people don't view happiness or success as a finite resource where achieving happiness and success for yourself means denying someone else happiness and success. They believe that there is enough to go around and it is more about creating value and not competition. This is the quality that allows them to be happy for other people's successes. This mindset also encourages the empowerment of others. If you think $10,000 is a lot to spend on a hotel room, check out this article by Steve Pavlina.

23. Good Character - Heroes are people who triumph. Think of all the heroes you know (in movies, books, and real-life). Don't they all act with honesty and integrity? Aren't they usually generous with others and frugal with themselves? Doesn't everyone look up to them? Being a hero that triumphs in life is no different.

24. Great Company - As I get older, I've come to recognize that you can learn a lot about someone by the company that they keep. Test this idea by watching people you know and noting who they spend the most time with. Some say a person's salary is usually the average of the five people they hang out with the most.

This happens because people with similar beliefs tend to get along and stick together. If a group averages $65,000/year and someone in the group believes that they can make $65,000/hour, the other people in the group will think that is ridiculous. Yet in the group where everyone makes $65,000/hour, the person making $65,000/year will probably second guess his or her own beliefs concerning earning ability.

What does that mean for you?

Surround yourself with people living the life you want to live and adopt their beliefs and habits. This might mean spending less time with the people you've outgrown.

25. Listener - Everyone wants to be a great speaker but how many people strive to be excellent listeners. People who listen succeed in life because they are able to hear and understand the needs of other people and to focus their energy on meeting those needs. The fastest way to be a good conversationalist is to listen well and ask questions.

26. Self Control - Successful people rarely lose control. They don't go into panics or blind rages. They have learned to control their emotions and consciously (or subconsciously) put themselves in a resourceful state. They understand that they can't change other people or what's happening to them but they can change how they react to it and how they feel about it. Another sign of self-control is doing what you're supposed to do despite how you feel about it.

27. Prepared - Extraordinary people are always prepared. They not only have a plan B but also a Plan C, D, E, and F. They mentally rehearse and visualize the possibilities vividly so that when the actual situation occurs, their brains will "remember" what to do.

28. Choice - People who are successful are in control. They know they ALWAYS have a choice. They don't feel victimized by their genetics, history and/or circumstances and they truly believe that the past does not determine the future. They write the script to their lives.

29. Self Reliant - Successful people rely on themselves. They don't need permission to do what they want and they don't give other people permission to slow them down by relying on them. They believe in themselves and their ability to achieve their dreams whether anyone helps them or not. What's interesting is that it is exactly this type of attitude that attracts others to want to help you. Samuel Smiles writes about this exact topic in his book, Self-Help (pdf).

30. Energy Conscious - Those who become great understand that successfully managing their energy is just as important if not more so than managing their time (Quality #6). One of the most important principles in energy management is knowing that rest is as important as action. Successful people are aware that low energy produces poor results and this violates their need for excellence (Quality #2). One of the best ways to manage your energy is to sleep your way to success.

So where do you stand?

I hope you have either reconfirmed many of your own qualities or have created action plans to develop the qualities you are lacking. Focus on cultivating one or two qualities at a time. Once your beliefs and actions are aligned with those of a successful person, you'll be amazed by how successful you become.

Bookmark and review this list often to measure yourself against it. Use it as a checklist knowing that the more qualities that you have, the higher your likelihood of being wildly successful in whatever you pursue. If you found this list helpful, share it with others who can benefit from it.

Which one of these building blocks of success do you want to develop? Are there any qualities of success that I left off that should be included in this list?

Also, if you've read this far, you obviously care about your development. To support your efforts, you can access the paid-version of my Know What You Want Workshop free. Just register using this code: robertsentme

The post 30 Qualities that Make Ordinary People Extraordinary appeared first on Embrace Possibility.