A Parent Talks to a Child Before the First Game (Poem)

As I'm reading about the famous UCLA basketball coach John Wooden in Wooden: A lifetime of observations and reflections on and off the court, I stumbled across the inspiring poem below that I plan to share with my two kids before their first competitive game.

It embodies how I like to view competition - an arena to showcase your efforts with the journey of preparing to compete making you better than you were before regardless of the actual outcome.

A Parent Talks to a Child Before the First Game

"This is your first game, my child. I hope you win.

I hope you win for your sake, not mine. Because winning’s nice.

It’s a good feeling.

Like the whole world is yours.

But, it passes, this feeling.

And what lasts is what you’ve learned.

And what you learn about is life.

That’s what sports is all about. Life.

The whole thing is played out in an afternoon.

The happiness of life.

The miseries.

The joys.

The heartbreaks.

There’s no telling what’ll turn up.

There’s no telling whether they’ll toss you out in the first five minutes or whether you’ll stay for the long haul.

There’s no telling how you’ll do.

You might be a hero or you might be absolutely nothing.

There’s just no telling.

Too much depends on chance.

On how the ball bounces.

I’m not talking about the game, my child.

I’m talking about life.

But, it’s life that the game is all about.

Just as I said.

Because every game is life.

And life is a game.

A serious game

Dead serious.

But, that’s what you do with serious things. You do your best.

You take what comes.

You take what comes

And you run with it.

Winning is fun.

Sure.

But winning is not the point.

Wanting to win is the point.

Not giving up is the point.

Never being satisfied with what you’ve done is the point.

Never letting up is the point.

Never letting anyone down is the point.

Play to win.

Sure.

But lose like a champion.

Because it’s not winning that counts.

What counts is trying."

—Unknown

If you like the messages in this poem, I highly recommend reading the full book. It's full of insights from Wooden's life and view of the world.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

About the Author: Robert Chen

Robert Chen is the founder of Embrace Possibility, where he writes about the practical skills behind reaching your full potential — getting clear on what you want, and following through on it. He's a lecturer at the Wharton School, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Selling Your Expertise, and the founder of Vana Lab, where he now teaches teenagers the same skills the executives he coaches wish they'd learned sooner. If something here resonated, join his free 52-Week Success Habits series — one short, practical email a week, with The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook as a welcome gift. Or explore more of his work at robertchen.com and read more of his posts here.