Embrace Possibility Got Nagged? (Relationship Quick Tip #2)

Got Nagged? (Relationship Quick Tip #2)

If you find that someone is constantly nagging you or saying the same things over and over again, your best bet to break the cycle is to:

Acknowledge the positive contribution they are making in your life and make them feel heard

It's often easier for the other person to leave you alone, but for some important reason, they feel compelled to keep coming at you even at the expense of you ignoring, dismissing, or arguing with them. If you take the time to acknowledge their value, you'll find that they'll stop nagging or repeating themselves, because you show that you've heard them.

For example, if your parent or spouse nags you about your life choices (there are so many), instead of the typical response, "I know what I'm doing."

Try, "Thank you for looking out for me. I can see your point about [repeat specifically what you're hearing from them]. What else may I have missed?"

Once they say, "That's right," then you know you've done a good job making them feel heard. Of course, they will also be looking at your actions to see if you really "heard" them, so if you don't agree, you will want to share that with them as well, so they don't walk away thinking that you agree with what they've told you and will now do what they suggest. What's nice about making sure the other person feels heard is that they are that much more open to hearing what you have to say.

Of course, if someone continues to nag despite feeling heard, you may have outgrown the relationship or they may just be a snob.

Good luck and may there be less nagging and more listening in all of our lives!

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About the Author:

Robert Chen is the founder of Embrace Possibility, where he writes about the practical skills behind reaching your full potential — getting clear on what you want, and following through on it. He's a lecturer at the Wharton School, author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Selling Your Expertise, and the founder of Vana Lab, where he now teaches teenagers the same skills the executives he coaches wish they'd learned sooner. If something here resonated, join his free 52-Week Success Habits series — one short, practical email a week, with The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook as a welcome gift. Or explore more of his work at robertchen.com and read more of his posts here.

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