Embrace Possibility How to Keep Your Friends Despite (Blank)

How to Keep Your Friends Despite (Blank)

Keeping Friends DespiteI would fill in "being busy".

Others might put "having kids", "moving away", "disagreeing", etc.

No matter what your reason is, my tip is the same:

You keep your friends by investingĀ resources to keep them.

When we are young, we spend a lot of time building our friendships but as we get older, we tend to drift away from our friends for a multitude of reasons. If you want toĀ rekindle or keep a goodĀ friendship, here are a few practical tips that has helped me:

Call Them

Initially, I felt hesitant to call up a friend I haven't spoken to for a while but I thought about how I would feel if a good friend called me up out of the blue to see how I was doing. I would feel good because that person had to be thinking aboutĀ me before making that call. When you take time to call someone, you're tellingĀ your friendĀ that you've been thinking about them and that you care about them.

IĀ called a good numberĀ of myĀ friends and for the most part it hasĀ been a great experience.Ā At first, some of my friends were confusedĀ because they thought I wanted something butĀ once I explained andĀ called them a few times,Ā theĀ initial awkwardness faded away.Ā I am glad that I did it.

Meeting in person is also great but not always practical. Email is convenient for finding a good time to talkĀ but a bit inconvenient when you start going back and forth. I find the phone to be a good balance of convenience and personal connection.

Make Yourself Available

Good friends are there for each other in times of needĀ but as we grow older and start our own families, we tend not to beĀ available any more for our friends. We have our own commitments and dependents and itĀ  is easy to see a friend's need as a nuisance. This brings me back to myĀ initial point:Ā your friendship is asĀ good as the investment you put into it. If you don't want to spare the time,Ā don't expect to keep an awesome friendship.

The way I make myself available is to beĀ in touch (see tip #1 - Call Them). This willĀ help me become aware if my friend is going through difficult times. It is rare for a good friend who you've been out of touch with to call you out of the blue for help. Sometimes it is hard for a good friend who you are in touch with to ask for helpĀ so I need to beĀ sensitive toĀ my friend's situation and offer to help if necessary. ThisĀ also means that when you are calling your friend, you are asking about all aspects of their life and not just talking about Jeremy Lin and the NYĀ Knicks.

Get Together

Good friendships are notĀ onlyĀ solidifiedĀ duringĀ tough times but also in good times. One wayĀ I keepĀ my friendships strong is to get together. I find the groupĀ dynamicĀ an excellentĀ way to create new enjoyable memories with my friends. I have recently created some greatĀ memories at a few weddings and house parties.

The easiest way to get together is to hostĀ one. It may be more work but you can control the guest list and you don't have to worry about getting home too late. If you don't like to host, restaurants and lounges are nice places to meet as well. There is really no excuse not to organize a get together with your friends.

If you've read this far, you are definitely interested in strengthening your friendships. I recommend that you take out a penĀ right nowĀ and write down the names of 3 people you plan to call within the week. You're going to be glad you did.

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About the Author:

Robert is the founder of Embrace Possibility and author of The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook. He works with people to get to the next level in their professional and personal lives. If you're going through a tough time right now, check out Robert's article on How to Feel Better Right Away and if you're having trouble getting what you want out of life, check out How to Always Achieve Your Goals. More Posts - Website

One Comment

  1. Christine February 22, 2012 at 11:19 am - Reply

    I must admit, calling is a bit tough these days but what I do enjoy are group gatherings. Everyone becomes a bit disconnected after college because everyone has their own life in different locations which makes it even more difficult to keep in touch. What I find helpful is facebook. This social media tool has kept me in touch with most of my friends/family and it has brought everyone a bit closer. It’s easy to drop a line to see how things are going. I would also send an email or if I know I’m in the area, I’ll try and see if they have time for a coffee. Making new friends can be tough but maintaining old ones may be tougher though it is really rewarding once the connection is rekindled.

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